Being Married & Finding Time

It's accounting season -- and it has been -- around these parts, which means that Tuvia is working 12-14 hour days, coming home late at night and diving straight into bed. I've had the past month (and then some) off from school, and working part-time has actually been a little less than part-time, meaning I've had a lot of time to frequent coffee shops and futz around at home not really doing anything in particular. I have been sick, which takes up a lot of unnecessary energy, but overall, I've sort of been twiddling my thumbs.

Tomorrow I start my second semester at NYU with some fun classes on Israel in the 1960s, Jewish education, teaching a second language to college students and adults, and a Hebrew course that's really geared toward undergrads (homework and tests are more my speed). That will put me in NYC four days a week, one of those until 9 something at night. Tack on the part-time work, the commute, and, well, I won't be home much.

So here's what I'm wondering: Tuvia and I have been married nearly eight months and it seems like after those first few months our time has become monopolized by work and life and everything else, so how do you keep connected to your significant other? Do you set time aside to do things? Do you plan grocery trips? Do you set date nights? How do you maintain your sanity and that connectivity? There's always Shabbat, but it seems like by the time we get to Friday, our interests are sleeping, eating, and sleeping some more.

That first year is killer, we all know that. Chuck your wisdom at me, married couples!

Real Housewife of NJ

I'm sipping some coffee from my oversized Coffee Mug, watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey, fantasizing about how I'd look in a five-sizes too small dress throwing a sandwich at some other New Jersey housewife and the cops showing up to dismantle another unnecessary scuffle. Over what? Probably over the last Kiki Riki shirt or tichel at the local shop. Or, maybe, over the last gluten free crust at the local pizza shop. It would be, in a word, legendary. The Really Frum Houswives of Teaneck.

It's funny how quickly I've settled into wifedom. I dread looking at myself in the mirror because oftentimes my hair look a'mess, and I worry about its affects on my relationship (which, of course, is stupid because Tuvia expresses his love no matter how crappy I look or feel; what a mensch). I manage to fit an ungodly amount of stuff into a single day, and when I sit back and drink my cup of coffee I wonder how I did it. I can't imagine how it'll work when I have kids.

I've been suffering a bout of serious exhaustion the past few days, so I went to bed at 9:30 p.m. and slept until 10 a.m. today. I woke up ... exhausted. I showered, put all the dishes that were toveled and washed yesterday away, and washed some more things that were toveled. I rearranged some stuff in the house, scavenged through my notebooks for what I needed to work on today. I made some food and ate, grabbed my backpack and more stuff to be toveled, and headed out. I went to Starbucks and did about three hours of paper writing, realized I left a notebook at home, and left. I went to Shop Rite and bought fish and potatoes. I toveled. I went home. I grabbed things to return to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I drove back to BB&B, picked up a few things, ran to Whole Foods for a few things, went home. I set up shop to work at home, organized myself, started dinner. Grilled up some fish, roasted some taters, used my rice maker for the first time. Ate dinner with Tuvia. Got back to work on my paper. Finished the paper (well, this is one-quarter of the paper I have to write). Made a cup of coffee. And here I am.

Yawn. Being a Really Frum Houswife of Teaneck is tiring.