Sukkot in the Land of Memory

Today is one of those days that's made for Mumford and Sons circa winter 2010-11.

Those were melancholy days where I spent a lot of time on the backroads of Pennsylvania on dangerous, winding roads drifting between a coffee shop and a Poconos bungalow that was never mine.

Leaves in burnt orange, rusty red, and deep marigold mixed with splashes of rain all send me back to that place, and Colorado is deep in that weather at the moment.

After a three-day holiday (that was the first two days of Sukkot plus Shabbat) home with the little one, where I was reminded -- once again and for the last time -- that I simply can't take Ash out at night, the oddest thing about not having Mr. T around on holidays and Shabbat became apparent.

Kiddush. Motzi. Havdalah.

It might seem like minutiae, but there are many things as far as ritual in Judaism that I was never keen on making my own. I know a lot of families where the husband does kiddush (that's the blessing over the wine on holidays and Shabbat typically) and the wife handles motzi (that's the blessing over the challot, or bread). In most communities havdalah (the blessings to mark the end of a holiday or Sabbath) is done at synagogue or handled by the husband at home. Yes, it seems very patriarchal, but for some reason, I really like those aspects of my married life.

I've been trying to remember whether, when I was single and religious, I did these things at home, relied on synagogue for them, or just didn't do them at all. Part of me thinks I heard the prayers at synagogue and covered my bases there, but part of me also feels like maybe I just didn't do them when I was alone at home, which is probably why I tried desperately to get meals out on the holidays so I didn't have to do them myself.

Does it sound weird? Being so unwilling to do a few simple blessings over some wine or bread once a week? After all, a woman is totally allowed and, in fact, encouraged to make kiddush. There's nothing about a woman not being able to say motzi, either.

There's just something that's always been comfortable in my world about having my husband, the "head" of the house, the super-duper, obligated-to-do-so-many-mitzvahs guy, taking control of these ritual acts. I'm all in love with being a progressive, forward-thinking working woman, but some things just feel right a certain way.

So I went through the motions, with Ash squiggling about, saying the prayers and inhaling gluten-free challah at a table set for the night meals. We'll repeat the ritual again at the end of Sukkot, too. But I'll be glad when the holidays are over.

The thing I keep telling myself is that the pain of separation from a spouse for the potential of months, not weeks, is that this is how people used to live. Husbands would go on trading routes or off to war for months, if not years, leaving wives and children back home to fend for themselves. In those days (even 50-100 years ago), there wasn't Skype or FaceTime or Facebook or texting or other instant forms of communication. There was a hope that -- maybe -- you'd hear from someone in a few weeks or months.

In reality, I'm spoiled. I'm lucky. I'm able to chat with Mr. T daily (save the three-day holiday situation and Shabbat, of course).

Then again, as a good friend R.C. pointed out, women also didn't have the obligations of full-time jobs back in those days. They stayed home and kept house or ran the shop with hired help or other similar assistance.

Although I'm going to miss many months of hearing my husband say prayers over the wine and bread we eat on a weekly basis, I'm blessed to live in the 21st century and in a Jewish community where people are ready and willing to help -- even if I don't always take people up on their kindness.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

One Year Down ... Marriage!

Tuvia and I spent Memorial Day weekend in the Poconos to celebrate our one-year anniversary, which was Memorial Day last year, but in 2010 it was May 31. Oh the confusion of U.S. holidays.

The Hebrew date -- 18 Sivan -- falls on June 20, for those keeping score at home. So, in a way, it's like a month of anniversary awesomeness! Except, of course, for the fact that I'm going to be in Israel for that entire month starting late Sunday night.

At least, for us, we had the weekend!

The Wandering Jew

I took a drive yesterday, leaving Tuvia's place in the Poconos for Scranton, Pennsylvania, in search of a nice dress for a black-tie bat mitzvah coming up (about six days after we're married, actually). I failed in my search at the less-than-impressive Steamtown Mall, but I did find a Starbucks (ah! civilization!) and happened to pass by Mifflin Drive. I spotted the Osaka hibachi restaurant, which isn't a Benny Hana, but it's a hibachi joint anyhow, which is featured in one episode of The Office. I was hoping that the Dunder Mifflin building was real, but it turns out that it's on a soundstage in California. There are a lot of local hotspots that are referenced in The Office -- the university, restaurants, deli joints, etc. I even discovered a kosher deli while there: Abe's Kosher Deli. No clue who gives their hashgacha, however. I drove by, but not seeing a certificate in the window was a turn off. So I drove on, heading off to the Crossings Outlet Mall about an hour away. There, at last, I found a dress, which cost a lot more than I wanted, but it worked. I hopped back in my little Yaris and schlepped off back home, a day well spent and driven.

The interesting thing to me about my lengthy, round-about schlep, was that I drove through a lot of what can only be called "bumpkin" country. The trees were thick, the roads narrow, and the breaks of town -- or remnants thereof. One of these small towns, complete with an ages-old church, general store, aging gas station, and other typical shops, touted a golf course. As I drove by, a man poured out of his Ford Truck, sporting Carhart gear -- steal-toed boots, plaid shirt, jeans -- with golf clubs in tow, making him the antithesis of the usual golf course crew. The golf course, of course, was nothing more than a large, open field with a few holes and few rolling hills. How simple, how lucky.

I'm solitary in the Poconos for another few days. The trees keep the house cool, and the Carpenter Ants get free reign of the wood above the fireplace until Thursday when the pest guy comes. I'm horrified and spend most of my time in the bedroom, watching reruns of Law & Order: SVU. I brought a dozen things with me to do -- including blog posts on the am ha'aretz, Rahab, and mashiach ben david/mashiach ben yosef -- but aside from my adventures yesterday, I've been doing a lot of nothing. It's almost more stressful not to be doing anything. It's times like this that the mind overworks itself.

T-minus less than 6 days. Let's get this show on the road.

Photo Me Once, Photo me Twice ...

Over the long weekend, Tuvia and I spent Shabbos in the Poconos, went to a Yankees vs. Phillies game on Sunday, and visited a flea market and a beautiful waterfall extravaganza near where Tuvia has a place in the Poconos called "Childs Park." I'd like to offer a simple series of photos that depict the weekend, for your viewing pleasure! Take note of the kosher options at Yankee Stadium -- they were DELICIOUS and abundant. Hallelulah!

Joseph Liebermann was there!

I can't wait to write about Shavuot ... but I'll actually be studying all night this week, participating in the community's interactions for the holiday and more. I'm so excited!

Jewish Gingering.

Just when you thought Gingerbread Houses were only for those of the Christmasy persuasion, Chavi came up with the newest new-age Jewish holiday activity: the construction of the GingerShul!

I was checking out the local Wal-Mart when I saw the Gingerbread House kit, and thought ... that would make a really stellar gingerbread synagogue. So the kit was purchased and this weekend, while enjoying some rest and relaxation in the Poconos, the gingerbread shul was built and I think it came out quite smashingly.

For more photos, find me on Facebook and you can see the entire process ... it was quite a time! And no, I don't plan on eating it ... for many reasons. But hey, it looks cool sitting by the fire!

Getting Ready to SHAKE it!

What an interesting weekend I had down in the Poconos with Evan. We saw a bear by the side of the road in the community, not to mention wild turkeys wandering around someone's driveway. We stopped at a most magnificent waterfall (which you see pictured here and which you can see more of over on my Flickr ), and we spent most of one day this weekend at a flea market/craft fair/harvest festival where I procured some delicious jams/spreads from some nice Quaker girls (who had a yummy-looking loaf of challah that I resisted buying).

The weekend was all around beautiful and relaxing, and the services at the shul in the community were, well, interesting. I got nothing spiritually from them, but they were amusing in that the chazzan was funny and had some interesting things to say (he even brought up "Mallrats," which no one seemed to know about except the chazzan, Evan and I). But there was probably a 40-50 year age gap between us and the rest of the people there, though there was a mighty showing, it being an older community. They used the old -- we're talking the ORIGINAL -- Reform siddur, which made me want to cry, but the building was beautiful and the company was nice and the chazzan was plenty friendly. We will probably go back, I just have to figure out a way to do my prayers on my own. I think it's time to suck it up and buy myself that transliterated Artscroll so I can daven solo-style.

At any rate, the sukkah is up in the grad courtyard and we did some l'chaims earlier to celebrate it's construction. It's incredibly tall and was purchased from PopUpSukkah.com, but it'll get the job done for what we need. I spent the afternoon mulling about with the Chabad rabbi's youngest boy (age 2-ish) who ... wow ... I want 10 just like him. I can't understand a word he said, but we were looking at water in a drain pipe and watching planes dart across the sky leaving smokey skies behind. I got him to start saying "bye bye! bye bye!" while waving frantically and it was seriously the cutest thing I have ever seen. So tomorrow evening begins Sukkot -- also known as Sukkos or the Feast of Tabernacles/Booths -- and I'll be spending my time probably at the Chabad rabbi's place for dinner and services on Tuesday morning since I'm not sure what Hillel is doing and I can't seem to get enough of the wee one (and the older one calls me Chava and Ahava, which amuses me but I'm down with it cuz he's cool).

So with Sukkot approaching, I implore everyone to quickly get a copy of Ushpizin (one of my most FAVORITE MOVIES) and watch it with joy. It is THE Sukkot movie, and if you haven't seen it, you're really missing out.

This will be my first "observant" Sukkot ... and I'm stoked. I'm ready to get my shake on -- are you? The only thing is, I've never done the shakin' before and I don't know the rules and regulations ... good thing I found this video! (Not!)







Moadim l'simcha!