GIVEAWAY: Listen, It's [Dot] Complicated

"A successful woman is one who can build a firm
foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her."
[modified from an original quote by David Brinkley]

Several months ago the amazing folks at Zuckerberg Media contacted me about reading, reviewing, and offering up a giveaway of Randi Zuckerberg's Dot Complicated: Untangling Our Wired Lives. If you're not sure who Randi is, but you recognize that obviously recognizable last name, yes, she's related to the illustrious Mark of Facebook fame. What you might not know is that Randi was the mastermind behind some of Facebook's most amazing and groundbreaking live streaming initiatives and relationships with big dogs like CNN and ABC.

As the master of her own company and life now, having written this stellar read about her experiences at Facebook and how she got out and launched herself, she's also a published children's book author. Her first masterpiece? Dot., a book for children about putting down the tech and enjoying life. In this children's book, the flutters and noises of technology are found outside, too, whether it's surfing down a hill or listening to the twitter of the birds. It's a beautiful pairing with her Dot Complicated book for adults. I envision myself sitting down to reread Randi's book someday with Ash sitting next to me with Dot. Sort of a his and her's experience, except in this case, it'll be a tech savvy mommy's and a tech savvy baby's experience.

In Dot Complicated, Randi is casual and paints one of the most vivid pictures of a life experience I've read in recent years. As a work of nonfiction, her honesty and candid reflections about being "Mark Zuckerberg's sister" and her breaking point when she realized that she had to get out and do her own thing in a big way. Her narrative is inspiring and I have no doubt in my mind that she's paving the way for future generations of women -- both through her children's book and her book for more adult-like individuals.

I also have to applaud her realistic approach to technology and how it is shaping our lives in positive and negative ways. Early on in the book she says the following:

The famous science-fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke once said, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." He was right. New technology is a kind of magic and today we can do things with ease that were impossible just a few years ago. Like magic, each new innovation has advanced our society and our potential. Of course, the seductive glow of these magical devices can also blind us to some of their downsides and effects." (57)

Her jaunts into her journey took me back to the days of AIM and the melancholy of being a teenager and college study.

Remember the effort you'd make to choose the perfect IM profile picture, or the time you invested in crafting the perfect "away" message? I admit that I spent way too much time selecting vague but meaningful lyrics from the latest song I was obsessed with. Plenty of times I would announce my presence online with "I believe I can fly," "I saw the sign," or "I get knocked down." (71)

Yes, I used to have "Sleep, those little slices of death" (a la Edgar Allen Poe) as one of my away messages. I was the original when it came to super vague and sometimes frightening posts in the "social" sphere.

Randi's take on the merging of the public and private spheres also had me rolling my fist in the air Arsenio Hall style.

"It can't be that we're going to have to adjust to a world where we cannot share anything but our utmost public and sterile information. Sharing the personal stuff with others is an essential aspect of what it means to be human. If our online lives are to be as fulfilling as our offline ones, and if those two lives are to be fully integrated, then as we go forward we need to find a way to bring back personal information online. We must be able to post some pool pics without the whole world finding out, even if one of our friends is feeling a little overenthusiastic with the share button that day. (80)

Preach! Now that's a manifesto. As someone whose life is very public by my own choice, I can't say enough about the truth in Randi's sentiments. I don't believe in separating the two, and neither does Randi. Huzzah!

I will say that one thing that slightly bummed me out, although not in a big way, was her reflections on being a Jewish woman and mother. A quick reference to Chinese food on Christmas a Jewish woman entrepreneur does not make.

That aside, probably the most valuable piece of actionable advice Randi dishes out is that everyday, you have to pick three from the following and that's it. You can't do it all, so pick three and make them work. And don't feel guilty about it either.

• Work
• Sleep
• Family
• Friends
• Fitness

I remember reading this before Ash was born and thinking "YES! What a great approach to life." Have I enacted the "pick three" philosophy? No. But guess what? Starting tomorrow, I'm going to because, let's be honest, I've been trying to pack four of those into every day (sorry, fitness). And maybe, maybe someday we'll all work for a company like FullContact in Denver, Colorado, which pays their employees $7,500 bonus if they don't take their phones with them on vacation. A girl can dream, right? (168)

Oh, and I don't forget: 

"The more successful you are and the more you have to say, the more people will be mean to you on the Internet. The only way forward is to embrace your haters. Don't be afraid of the keyboard cowards. Engage them." (237)

Have I sold you yet on Dot Complicated? If you haven't read the book already and are seriously jonesing for some mind-blowingly awesome writing, storytelling, and inspiration, hold tight! It's time for a giveaway. 

To be entered to win:

• Comment on this post and you'll be entered to win a copy of Dot Complicated!
• Share this blog post to Twitter and/or Facebook for an extra chance to win. You must include in your comment that you've posted on these social sites for the extra chances (i.e., "I'm commenting on your blog post to win this awesome book, and I also shared on Twitter and Facebook.")
• Contest is open to U.S. residents only.

I'll draw a winner at random on Wednesday, March 19 at midnight (EST). 

Contradictions

This is completely unrelated to the post below, but I thought it was funny.

Spotted this at Max Stock (an EVERYTHING store) today. Party plates!

An article that came out today in the Times of Israel paints a contradictory picture of Israel.

The report finds woefully inadequate transportation infrastructures, low productivity in an Israeli work hour, an education system producing a generation of low-achieving students, and employment levels dramatically lower than in much of the industrialized West.

And further,

Based on OECD data that links GDP to the total working hours of the economy, Israel ranks 23rd out of 34 OECD states in terms of the productivity of an Israeli working hour. Worse, Israel has been falling ever farther behind the OECD average since the mid-1970s.

Everyone tells you when you move to Israel that there are particularly frustrating aspects about the country's infrastructure. 

The fax machine is still king here, but the bank likes to send you text messages updating you on activity. The army has a crazy active social media presence where you can find the most up-to-date information, but getting an appointment with your aliyah counselor might take a good month. And the list goes on and on. 

The most obnoxious case-in-point for me is the banking system here. It's not enough to send me screaming or taking up hard drugs, but it is pretty annoying. It's like they want you to have to come into the branch (and, on that note, you better go to the branch where you set up your account or else things just don't work right). In the U.S., when you set up a bank or credit account, you set up your PIN to access the ATM when you set up your banking account or by calling into a 1-800 number and choosing the PIN. In Israel? No dice. In Israel, you have to come to the bank (the right branch, remember) to get your PIN, but first you have to request it. And then wait a week. And if they never send it or something strange happens, it could be a month later and you still can't access your money through the ATM. Instead, you have to go to the branch to get your money whenever you want it. And the card not working at retail outlets? Yeah, that one is a mystery -- to you, your banker, and the shop owner. (Note: The you in all of this is, of course, me.)

You can't call a number, you can't choose your PIN, it's all pretty arse backward if you ask me for a nation that calls itself the Start-Up Nation. In a place where high tech abounds, lo-tech seems to be the norm in most places, and I find it particularly frustrating. There's one place in Jerusalem where you can find quality Apple products (resale!), and there are tons of places that just plain don't take credit cards. And yet we have some of the most amazing medical and military technologies in the world. If quality counts in only some things, I guess medicine and defense are it, but why is it so hard to find quality floss or Q-tips in this country?

Walk by any given shop in Jerusalem and you'll find the shopkeeper standing outside smoking or schmoozing with his fellow shop owners. So it doesn't surprise me that we rank so low in productivity. The busiest shops? Shoe stores. Israelis love shoes, did you know? It doesn't take much to be productive in a shoe store. 

If anything, I suppose knowing the slowness of the system gives me pause as I consider what going to the doctor is going to be like. I anticipate putting it off as long as humanly possible, at least until I'm in the midst of a good book that might keep me occupied for however long it takes. I don't mind waiting. It's just knowing that Israel has the potential to be such a magnificently First World country that drives me nuts. I find it difficult to accept the fax machine and a banking system that doesn't let me choose my own PIN and insists I wait a week to get it.

They say Israelis are prickly on the outside and soft on the inside, which is 100 percent true. I suppose that the country itself is quite the same, with the personality it projects as being one of technological advances and an internal struggle with old tech. 

Disgusted: Social Media Squashed at Religious Girls School

I'm horrified.

Beis Rivkah High School in Brooklyn makes girls sign NO SOCIAL MEDIA contract. And if they have a Facebook? Fined for $100 or kicked out.

“It’s not a modest thing for a religious Jewish man or woman to be on,” Benzion Stock said.

Because we want our Jewish teens to grow up not knowing how to use and interact with basic technologies that will inevitably be necessary in the workforce? Because we don't want to give our Jewish girls the opportunity to connect with Jews and Israelis all over the world? To build friendships and connections? To find long-lost relatives? To connect with what the global Jewish community is doing and experiencing?

Why don't we just say "You're going to be a stay at home mom, so you won't need it."

Or, you know, we could TEACH our kids how to use social media. No one is doing that. Instead of TEACHING our kids how to use Facebook, Twitter, and other platforms, we're shutting them down in fear. We're squashing a beautiful and necessary resource. But since we're so afraid ourselves, we just can't muster the strength for a Social Media Curriculum. Because we don't understand the technologies and aren't willing to, we are harming our Jewish girls! Modesty? Someone should tell that to the entire Chabad movement, then, shouldn't they. Or to all of those Orthodox business owners who sell diamonds or food online. Or to the Orthodox restaurant owners with websites and Twitter accounts.

It's like saying, here are a bounty of amazing books. But since we're not sure how you're going to interpret the texts, and it might brainwash you, we're not going to teach you how to read.

Bravo, Beis Rivkah. Bravo for sending us back in time.

A Guest Post: Judaism and the Virtual World

Hello blog readers! I am super, incredibly happy to introduce to you all a new feature of guest posts from my very dear friend Elisha. I met Elisha when I was in Connecticut, and I stayed by their family for so very many Shabbatot and chagim during my time there. They comforted and guided me through the Orthodox conversion process, and I count the Rosensweig family as among my most respected and cherished friends -- ever! So I hope you read his posts and enjoy them. He always provided insight into things that I thought I understood or things that I didn't have a clue about. He is uniquely special in this way. 


I also have to say this is a great response to a recent d'rash I heard at shul last week. Some will definitely appreciate this! Enjoy and comment abundantly!

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First of all, I’d like to thank Chaviva for allowing me to use this stage to share with you all my thoughts. Since this is my first blog post here, let me begin with a short and very limited bio: Elisha Rosensweig, born and bred in Israel, living with my wife and three (naturally – perfect) kids. I’m at the very end of a PhD in Computer Science, and I’m an alumni of Yeshiva Har Etzion (a.k.a. “the Gush”). Oh, and about that – I’m Modern Orthodox, and this is important because you might find me relating to “Judaism” in this and future guest posts, and although I will try to state this explicitly, I’m always referring to Orthodox Judaism. No disrespect intended to all you readers out there who do not agree with Orthodoxy – this is a habit I have from growing up in Israel, and anyway, I think that most of what I’ll be sharing with you, although inspired by Modern Orthodoxy, indeed is applicable to Judaism in general.

But enough about me. Today, I would like us to consider together the interaction of modern technology with Judaism. Now, just to be clear, you’re not about to hear about a new “App” that makes your Jewish life all the more [fill in the blank] or a website that takes care of all your [more blank fillings here]. Rather, I want to talk about how Judaism, at its very core, supplies us with a sort of immune system that resists some of the effects technology increasingly has on the general public.

The most classic example that people give for this is, of course, Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath. Many have already remarked that the strict restrictions on usage of computers and smartphones on Shabbat force those who observe the day to disconnect from their electronic devices once a week and reconnect with their family and friends. This has inspired a well-named “disconnect to reconnect” movement, which promotes the “Sabbath Manifesto” – a Shabbat-inspired pledge to make room for our family in this technology-ridden world. However, what people seem to miss is that this is not just a coincidence, a result of an ancient religion clashing with modernity, but actually just one expression of something deeply ingrained in Judaism. Let’s go deeper then, shall we?

A year or two ago I went to the movies to watch “Surrogates," a film with Bruce Willis about a futuristic world in which each person can connect to a device in his/her own home, which allows them to control a robot version of themselves (called a “surrogate”) and go out into the world. In such a manner, people can leave their homes in this robot body that will always be physically fit, look as handsome or beautiful as they wish while never outwardly aging, and car accidents and plane crashes are only an inconvenience, forcing a person to go to the robot repair shop or give them an excuse to upgrade to the latest surrogate model in the market. The movie plot revolves around a murder mystery, but at a deeper level it early on evolves into a critique of this imaginary world, and of how relationships, interactions, and the very human perception of the world are affected by placing this medium – the surrogate – in between us and the world that surrounds us. (In case you didn’t realize it yet – I liked the movie. Make sure to watch it!)

The movie is obviously science fiction, and as a Computer Science person I can tell you that the technology we have today cannot yet reach the level of sophistication presented in the movie. However, this film did reflect a growing trend of detachment from reality in certain circles, as well as the idealization of such detachment. Examples abound, so I’ll just mention one that stands out for me – Japanese weddings between humans and their favorite online virtual avatars. The willingness of people to ignore their physical limitations and find “love” within the boundless virtual realm of the Internet is both astounding and, to me at least, very disturbing.

Sitting there in the movie theater, watching “Surrogates” with some friends, one thought kept on coming back to me: an observant Jew could never reach this extreme. Your surrogate could never go to minyan for you, could never put on tefilin for you, could never hear shofar or megila in your stead, eat matzah (or, better yet, maror…) – the list goes on and on. What we are seeing here is that Judaism demands from a person to be directly involved in the mitzvos he or she performs, in the most basic physical sense. In other words, it demands of you to be grounded in the physical world.

And the physical world does not stop only at having your body involved. Jewish law also ties us in to the fourth dimension of our existence – time – very strongly. Consider those people who have played World of Warcraft for days on end without taking almost any breaks, causing them at times to actually die. Judaism would not allow you to get sucked into a virtual world for too long before it demanded that you give not only your time but your attention to something important in the real world. Praying three times a day forces you to be aware of the daily cycle of the sun, Shabbat sets a weekly cycle, and so on and so forth. Being grounded in this manner can feel limiting at times for those of us who are deeply involved in all things Internet-ish, and who like to redesign their Second Life avatar every other Tuesday. But interrupting this sinking into a virtual existence is a very important feature of Judaism that promotes a healthy life in the real world.

What I find to be fascinating about this fact – that Judaism contains the tools to limit our detachment from the reality that surrounds us – is how this feature of Judaism only became evident and meaningful over the past decade or two. More than a hundred years ago, detachment from reality was not even an option for anyone on the planet, and nobody thought in the terms used above. Thus we can see how G-d, through the Torah, is able to address new challenges that arise without changing a single letter of the books he gave us thousands of years ago. Even if you are not Orthodox, you gotta admit – it’s cool, right?

Some Uncommon Questions

Photo a la OneShul.

I'm busy at work in my second semester at NYU in the Education/Jewish studies dual M.A. (yes, I already have one M.A. from the University of Connecticut in Jewish studies, but you can't have too many, right?), and I've discovered that my technological and social media know-how is a huge boon to my experience. In just about every class so far, I've been able to pull on my experiences online to make connections that are ever-so-much-more important when it comes to education, and not just in the Jewish world. Social media skills are what we have to teach students, because at some point, I have no doubt in my mind that such skills will be a prerequisite for just about every job out there.

Along with the growth of social media and online networks, however, come questions. I've been thinking more and more about these questions, and as I prepare for my panel at SXSW Interactive next month, I really would like some kind of insight into whether we have answers or whether we've moved along quickly enough to even be able to consider answering these questions. And these are just a few. Ready?

• Yichud. Basically this word refers to the prohibition of men and women who are not married from being in seclusion or in a private place together. There are a bajillion ifs and buts tied to this law, but that's the basic gist. This means that I wouldn't invite a single man or a friend's husband over to my house for coffee, k? Now, my question is how we apply the laws of yichud in a digital age. Is it okay to text and email with a woman who is not your wife? With your wife knowing? Without your wife knowing? I'd say the former is okay, the latter violates yichud. What about online chatting or messaging through Facebook or Twitter via Direct Message? How do we apply the laws of yichud to Social Media? Should we? Is it being too strict to think that it should be? You have to consider that just as it was "dangerous" for a man and a woman to be secluded privately because g-d knows where it would end up, so, too, have people found that in the digital age, private communication is quite the same thing, just in a different medium. Thoughts?
• Davening. There are great collaborative communities online like OneShul from PunkTorah.org that create an online space for prayer (davening), but can you count in a minyan (a quorum of 10 men needed for prayer) if you're only there digitally?

I guarantee you these are two things that the rabbis of old never would have considered, even on the most distant of horizons. So how do we approach these kinds of things today? My big thing is the idea of the New Community, which exists online, where people in the most remote of locations can find a community and participate Jewishly online. This community comprises a bevy of denominations and boasts synergy in a beautiful and innovative way. The question is: Are we ready for it? I know the Reform community is, but what about the Orthodox community? How do we approach life online via halacha and modern sensibilities? 

JewTech.

Every (well, almost) Friday when I go to synagogue, I make a point to grab the local Jewish newspaper, as well as World Jewish Digest. One reason I like to pick these up is because there are oodles of interesting ads in them. Most are for Jewish retirement facilities and Kosher catering services, but I also am quite the fan of the interesting Tech Ads that pop up in the newspapers.

One of the interesting ones is KosherNet. What, you ask, is KosherNet? Under their description for what they mean by their use of "kosher," it says:

"Kosher" can also be used to describe other realms of human/Jewish experience. Reading material, entertainment, and parties can all be kosher or non-kosher - appropriate or inappropriate - for a Jew to experience.

So there can be a Kosher or non-Kosher Internet experience too. But, just as with food there are different standards for what is considered kosher or non-kosher, so too with the internet.

So it's basically kosher "parent" controls for the web experience. I guess what I'm wondering, then, is how many people use the service?

Then there's this service called MyFaith, though I can't seem to find a website for it. I read about it in one of the newspapers, and it's basically this service that allows you to upload all sorts of religious technological paraphernalia like wallpapers, ring tones, daily Torah gleanings, etc.

Now we all know there are hundreds if not thousands of sites that allow you to study the Torah or take relevant classes online. You can find websites with the Torah in Hebrew (with and without vowel markings), with the translations, with Rashi's commentary, etc. Likewise, there are plenty of books and websites devoted to living Jewishly amid a growing field of technology (an oft-cited issue is spelling out the name of G-d, and how this is legitimized on the Internet).

There is an interesting story of Rabbi Akiva and his debates with the Roman general, Turnus Rufus. The general asked Rabbi Akiva why Jews circumcise their sons, also asking whether Jews believe they can improve on G-d's creation of man. Rabbi Akiva placed grain and bread before the general and asked him which he'd rather eat. The general made the obvious choice and took the bread, which clearly represented man's improvement on nature. As such, just as baking bread is an act of improving wheat, so is circumcision an act of improving man. The moral of the story is that we are meant to improve on the world; we are partners in creation of all aspects of the world, including technology.

I think it's fascinating to see how special things are made up in order to maintain a "kosher" lifestyle, be this automatic timers, KosherNet, or other technologies that make living Jewishly a little more feasible in an ever-expanding world.

Cheers to you all, and may the week begin with health and happiness!