Emily and Me

Every now and again, I get to meet an awesome, amazing, super-cool e-friend in real life (IRL). This happened yesterday after a long day volunteering, on foot, in the heat, in which I neglected to properly hydrate or guard myself from the sun. Let it be known that shortly after this photo was taken by @denvereric, I went home and passed out for well over twelve hours and @TheMishkina hopped on a plane back to the land of long "o"s.

Cheers to meeting people IRL! And seriously, next year in Jerusalem! (For us both!)

Disgusted: Social Media Squashed at Religious Girls School

I'm horrified.

Beis Rivkah High School in Brooklyn makes girls sign NO SOCIAL MEDIA contract. And if they have a Facebook? Fined for $100 or kicked out.

“It’s not a modest thing for a religious Jewish man or woman to be on,” Benzion Stock said.

Because we want our Jewish teens to grow up not knowing how to use and interact with basic technologies that will inevitably be necessary in the workforce? Because we don't want to give our Jewish girls the opportunity to connect with Jews and Israelis all over the world? To build friendships and connections? To find long-lost relatives? To connect with what the global Jewish community is doing and experiencing?

Why don't we just say "You're going to be a stay at home mom, so you won't need it."

Or, you know, we could TEACH our kids how to use social media. No one is doing that. Instead of TEACHING our kids how to use Facebook, Twitter, and other platforms, we're shutting them down in fear. We're squashing a beautiful and necessary resource. But since we're so afraid ourselves, we just can't muster the strength for a Social Media Curriculum. Because we don't understand the technologies and aren't willing to, we are harming our Jewish girls! Modesty? Someone should tell that to the entire Chabad movement, then, shouldn't they. Or to all of those Orthodox business owners who sell diamonds or food online. Or to the Orthodox restaurant owners with websites and Twitter accounts.

It's like saying, here are a bounty of amazing books. But since we're not sure how you're going to interpret the texts, and it might brainwash you, we're not going to teach you how to read.

Bravo, Beis Rivkah. Bravo for sending us back in time.

A Guest Post: Judaism and the Virtual World

Hello blog readers! I am super, incredibly happy to introduce to you all a new feature of guest posts from my very dear friend Elisha. I met Elisha when I was in Connecticut, and I stayed by their family for so very many Shabbatot and chagim during my time there. They comforted and guided me through the Orthodox conversion process, and I count the Rosensweig family as among my most respected and cherished friends -- ever! So I hope you read his posts and enjoy them. He always provided insight into things that I thought I understood or things that I didn't have a clue about. He is uniquely special in this way. 


I also have to say this is a great response to a recent d'rash I heard at shul last week. Some will definitely appreciate this! Enjoy and comment abundantly!

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First of all, I’d like to thank Chaviva for allowing me to use this stage to share with you all my thoughts. Since this is my first blog post here, let me begin with a short and very limited bio: Elisha Rosensweig, born and bred in Israel, living with my wife and three (naturally – perfect) kids. I’m at the very end of a PhD in Computer Science, and I’m an alumni of Yeshiva Har Etzion (a.k.a. “the Gush”). Oh, and about that – I’m Modern Orthodox, and this is important because you might find me relating to “Judaism” in this and future guest posts, and although I will try to state this explicitly, I’m always referring to Orthodox Judaism. No disrespect intended to all you readers out there who do not agree with Orthodoxy – this is a habit I have from growing up in Israel, and anyway, I think that most of what I’ll be sharing with you, although inspired by Modern Orthodoxy, indeed is applicable to Judaism in general.

But enough about me. Today, I would like us to consider together the interaction of modern technology with Judaism. Now, just to be clear, you’re not about to hear about a new “App” that makes your Jewish life all the more [fill in the blank] or a website that takes care of all your [more blank fillings here]. Rather, I want to talk about how Judaism, at its very core, supplies us with a sort of immune system that resists some of the effects technology increasingly has on the general public.

The most classic example that people give for this is, of course, Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath. Many have already remarked that the strict restrictions on usage of computers and smartphones on Shabbat force those who observe the day to disconnect from their electronic devices once a week and reconnect with their family and friends. This has inspired a well-named “disconnect to reconnect” movement, which promotes the “Sabbath Manifesto” – a Shabbat-inspired pledge to make room for our family in this technology-ridden world. However, what people seem to miss is that this is not just a coincidence, a result of an ancient religion clashing with modernity, but actually just one expression of something deeply ingrained in Judaism. Let’s go deeper then, shall we?

A year or two ago I went to the movies to watch “Surrogates," a film with Bruce Willis about a futuristic world in which each person can connect to a device in his/her own home, which allows them to control a robot version of themselves (called a “surrogate”) and go out into the world. In such a manner, people can leave their homes in this robot body that will always be physically fit, look as handsome or beautiful as they wish while never outwardly aging, and car accidents and plane crashes are only an inconvenience, forcing a person to go to the robot repair shop or give them an excuse to upgrade to the latest surrogate model in the market. The movie plot revolves around a murder mystery, but at a deeper level it early on evolves into a critique of this imaginary world, and of how relationships, interactions, and the very human perception of the world are affected by placing this medium – the surrogate – in between us and the world that surrounds us. (In case you didn’t realize it yet – I liked the movie. Make sure to watch it!)

The movie is obviously science fiction, and as a Computer Science person I can tell you that the technology we have today cannot yet reach the level of sophistication presented in the movie. However, this film did reflect a growing trend of detachment from reality in certain circles, as well as the idealization of such detachment. Examples abound, so I’ll just mention one that stands out for me – Japanese weddings between humans and their favorite online virtual avatars. The willingness of people to ignore their physical limitations and find “love” within the boundless virtual realm of the Internet is both astounding and, to me at least, very disturbing.

Sitting there in the movie theater, watching “Surrogates” with some friends, one thought kept on coming back to me: an observant Jew could never reach this extreme. Your surrogate could never go to minyan for you, could never put on tefilin for you, could never hear shofar or megila in your stead, eat matzah (or, better yet, maror…) – the list goes on and on. What we are seeing here is that Judaism demands from a person to be directly involved in the mitzvos he or she performs, in the most basic physical sense. In other words, it demands of you to be grounded in the physical world.

And the physical world does not stop only at having your body involved. Jewish law also ties us in to the fourth dimension of our existence – time – very strongly. Consider those people who have played World of Warcraft for days on end without taking almost any breaks, causing them at times to actually die. Judaism would not allow you to get sucked into a virtual world for too long before it demanded that you give not only your time but your attention to something important in the real world. Praying three times a day forces you to be aware of the daily cycle of the sun, Shabbat sets a weekly cycle, and so on and so forth. Being grounded in this manner can feel limiting at times for those of us who are deeply involved in all things Internet-ish, and who like to redesign their Second Life avatar every other Tuesday. But interrupting this sinking into a virtual existence is a very important feature of Judaism that promotes a healthy life in the real world.

What I find to be fascinating about this fact – that Judaism contains the tools to limit our detachment from the reality that surrounds us – is how this feature of Judaism only became evident and meaningful over the past decade or two. More than a hundred years ago, detachment from reality was not even an option for anyone on the planet, and nobody thought in the terms used above. Thus we can see how G-d, through the Torah, is able to address new challenges that arise without changing a single letter of the books he gave us thousands of years ago. Even if you are not Orthodox, you gotta admit – it’s cool, right?

The Facebook Anthem?

If Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest ... in the world. It reminds me of Nebraska, where Husker Stadium became the third largest city in the state on game days (at a meager 80,000 something). If Facebook were a country, would it have an anthem? Would it have a flag? Would its president be Mark Zuckerberg? It's a weird thing to think about. But it also creates some kind of fusion, of people the world over. It's like we really do exist under a single set of dictates. The Facebook Constitution (aka the terms of service and privacy agreement).

Anyhow, here's a fun updated Map of Online Communities by the folks at xkcd.com on the current landscape of the interwebs. Click on it to make it huge. I highly recommend this, because you'll see all the funny and quirky details.

Haveil Havalim No. 281!

Well, I'm not hosting it (I remember how much work it took, and I'm still hesitant about hosting again, but I should, because it's the right thing to do!), but Ki Yachol Nuchal! is hosting it, and it's the Summer's End Edition. Slap me silly and call me stoked, but I'm ready for fall. So go give it a read, and then come back here and give me some love.

Also, just for kicks and giggles I thought I'd share with you a funny verb that y'all should know.

לפסבק

Yes, that's "l'fesbek," which is "to facebook." Thus, I would say, Ani m'fesbeket (אני מפסבקת), which is just hilarious to me. I love the evolution of English words into Hebrew!

Happy trails and a good week!

Judaism (and the Web) Saved Me

I've wanted to write a book for a long time. My desire to write a book (i.e., get a book deal) has only been ramped up by the fact that my Social Media life has really taken a positive upswing (my greatest pride is connecting converts to one another and to helping converts find a positive space to thrive). I have no idea where to begin, and I don't even know if I have the time to do such a thing. I already figure that a second book would be in order after we make aliyah (okay, a girl can dream, right? Tuvia, you reading this?).

The other day, on a bus ride home from the city where I got to hang out briefly with the illustrious @EstherK, it came to me. A book title and a rough abstract (at least for half of it). So, I give to you, daringly, something I wrote on a NJ Transit bus a few days back. Let me know what you think. Oh, and if you know a book person, hook a Jewess up.

“Judaism (and the Internet) Saved My Life: How My Soul Found and Socialized Me.”

No pull is greater than the pull of belonging. Having some little corner in a greater universe to call your own is to be comfortable, at ease, happy. 


When I came to Judaism, I was depressed, alone, and without a place to claim a niche. I was wandering, and emotionally and mentally it was to a most dangerous place. I’d spent my entire childhood attempting to figure out the universe, feeling aged beyond years even as a Tween, and in high school attempting to plan out my own end. The world was too big. It was too much. And I didn’t belong anywhere. I fit into no puzzle, no square hole or round hole or Christmas Tree-shaped hole. I couldn’t take it, and no one was going to stop me from taking it by the horns. I threatened suicide once. Late at night. My world came crashing down at the age of 16. And then, it was like it never happened. My parents forgot, my friends forgot. I didn’t forget. I got better, I told myself. I didn’t need meds, and I didn’t need a doctor. No shrinks for this deep-thoughted teen! So I threw myself into religion, Christianity, the force I’d battled for years, but I needed something. I tried, I made that community my community. At least, I thought I had. But it was a lie. A sham. I admitted to myself and to my friends who I really was, a non-believer, caught in my own mind and my own thoughts, I had my own beliefs. And then, out of nowhere, I was alone. With my thoughts, of course. I had no people, no category, I was statistically the cheese that stands alone. I grew inward, I lost myself. In college, Judaism saved my life. The community, the niche I’d fought so hard to find, to no avail, was present and accounted for. I suddenly belonged, I had people, I had a history, I had a shared dream. I had a home. 


When I came into my own on the internet, I was, once again, without friends, without a sense of community, without a place to call my own, even within myself. I was a hermit living in one of the major hot spots for 20-somethings in the U.S., Washington D.C. I even lived like a hermit, in a basement apartment, three steps down through a dirty old garden, and I was in a hole. Like a Hobbit. I could sleep until four in the afternoon without seeing a sliver of light. My loner habits continued, even after I moved to Chicago and became even more entrenched in my e-life: my blog, my Twitter, Yelp, they were my outlets. The internet saved my life. On more than one occasion. It pulled me out of my hole, after a bad breakup, and it threw me into a social scene of like-minded e-thinkers, and it made me whole again. I had e-stalkers, e-haters, and, most importantly, I had e-friends who became IRL friends who accompanied me on outings for prime pieces of meat at local steakhouses and indulged my love of thin-crust pizza. I was re-socialized. I was loved. I was welcomed. I was part of something, something huge and nebulous and beautiful. I was a part of the New Community. The 2.0 e-club. I made it. I branded myself, I became Chaviva. The Kvetching Editor. 

SXSW + Jews = AWESOME!

I was recently contacted about something that I absolutely have to share with the masses, and I'm hoping you all will get excited about it and take part in the voting process. Yes, I said voting process.


I'm sure you all have heard about SXSW -- the "South-by-Southwest" Music Festival that takes place in Austin every year. It's one of the nation's biggest music festivals, and it now features one of the world's biggest and most popular New Media Festivals, the SXSW Interactive Festival. A social media proponent contacted me because he has submitted a panel for approval for the Interactive Festival -- Judaism 2.0. From the author, Justin Oberman, the panel is described as such: "In a world that has become somewhat hostile, this panel will explore the different avenues Jews have started using New Media to talk about Judaism, Religion and Israel."

As you all know, I fancy myself a Web 2.0/New Media guru. All you have to do is Google search "Kvetchingeditor" and you'll find my profile/pages on Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, Flickr, Blogger, LinkedIn, and every other big site out there. I'm a firm believer in the power of the Internet as a tool to connect and grow the Jewish community (and the greater communities of the world, at that). So what better a venue for such connections to be built and -- better yet explained -- than at one of the biggest music and interactive festivals out there?


So this is where you guys come in. I need you to spread the word about this panel, and to go to the SXSW festival website and VOTE in favor of the panel. Justin tells me that although the panel selection is not completely in the hands of voters, it largely is. So I need you guys to vote, vote, and vote some more. If we play our cards right, I might be featured on the panel since I love to gush about the joys of Twitter and Blogging in the frame of Torah Judaism!So go ahead, head over, VOTE, and let me know what you think about the panel and if you have any ideas or suggestions. I'm sure Justin would love to hear them. Also, be sure to look out for his upcoming blog.

Oh, and in case you are confused by all the links, please just click HERE!!!

Koogle: The Kosher Search Engine!

A hearty hat tip to @ezrabutler, in his infinite wisdom, for Tweeting this.

For those of you wanting to make sure your Googling is going the route of all that's kosher and modest, there's a new search engine out there for you. And it's named after one of my favorite, favorite, favorite Jewish treats: Koogle! And don't worry, just click on the proud U.S. flag in the upper righthand corner for your English viewing pleasure. From NeatORama.com:

Orthodox jews are restricted from surfing the web in case they run across religiously questionable and sexually explicit materials. But Koogle, a search engine launched by Yossi Altman, may change all that:

Yossi Altman said Koogle, a play on the names of a Jewish noodle pudding and the ubiquitous Google, appears to meet the standards of Orthodox rabbis, who restrict use of the Web to ensure followers avoid viewing sexually explicit material.

The site, at www.koogle.co.il, omits religiously objectionable material, such as most photographs of women which Orthodox rabbis view as immodest, Altman said.

Its links to Israeli news and shopping sites also filter out items most ultra-Orthodox Israelis are forbidden by rabbis to have in their homes, such a television sets.

"This is a kosher alternative for ultra-Orthodox Jews so that they may surf the Internet," Altman said by telephone.

This is something to kvell about, folks!

(Note: Koogle is also the name of a peanut butter marketed by Kraft in the 70s, it appears. Even more laugh-out-loud worthy!)

Focusing!!

My intention last night was to make it home, go to the grocery store, make dinner, do the laundry, and not turn on the TV or the computer, but to read. I wanted to read through some blog entries that A Simple Jew had sent me, in addition to all the comments and thoughts others had sent via e-mail and the comments page on my Faith post. I'd wanted to really buckle down and throw myself at some studying to get into the issue. But ... instead, the trip home lasted nearly two hours, then I ate dinner and threw on an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (no laughs!) and it was all downhill from there.

I just can't get anything done sitting at my computer at work or sitting at home. I need to throw myself into the coffee/tea shop and be completely unattached (with the exception of the BlackBerry, that is) from the web in order to get anything done. It's sad, but it's true. I've essentially sat here at my desk the entire day flipping through my RSS feed and playing Scrabulous and mulling around the Web like a hungry person in a vast grocery store. You walk and walk and grab things and you never really get what you need.

At the same time, I'm reading through the bulk of comments I've gotten in the past week and I'm trying to figure out how people have come across the blog. There seem to be some Orthodox readers, and a friend told me that when she began talking about possibly becoming frum there came some regular readers on her blog, but when she finally came to the decision to not be frum those people disappeared. Then again I think perhaps my recent presence in commenting over on the Frum Satire blog probably has brought in new faces. Or maybe it's people from Twitter or elsewhere. Either way, the readership is a boon, and it's definitely encouraging me to (want to) be more active with the posting of well-thought-out content.

So for now, while I anticipate going home and eating dinner and then heading back out to the coffee shop to roll my shoulders over a table, perched over texts and printouts in hopes of analyzing faith in Judaism and perhaps what it means to the individual and whether the concept of faith in Judaism is relevant, I leave you with this:

Maimonides, perhaps one of the greatest Jewish sages, constructed the 13 Principles of Faith. With perfect repetition we recite "I believe with perfect faith that ..." for a variety of principles expressing the oneness of G-d and the truth of the prophets. I posted these principles in December of 2006, while knowing that of the 13 principles, it was No. 13 that unsettled me the most. At the time, I hadn't even been unsettled by the word "faith" in each of these statements. I didn't mention it, and thinking back, it wasn't even a question to me. The word faith merely blended in. I wonder, then, why a year and a half later I'm suddenly so very opposed to this word, faith, in the Jewish construction.