Just call me Chaviva

It occurred to me, just a few days ago, long after I booked my flight to SXSW Interactive, that big Music, Interactive, and Film festival in Austin, Texas every year around this time, that Daylight Savings is going to rain on my parade. My flight, at 6:45 a.m. on Sunday, will really be more like 5:45 a.m. on Sunday. This means that I'll have to be at the airport around 5 a.m., which is really more like 4 a.m. This means I'll probably, if I'm lucky, get something along the lines of four hours of sleep, before flying off to three days of interactive, social media awesomeness and geekatude in one of the nation's greatest (and most humid) cities.

Sigh. So much for planning well.

In a perfect world, with the time change, there would be more late motzei Shabbos flights. Then again, "if only Jews ruled the world!" Yeah, if we ruled the world there'd be late flights everywhere! Especially time zones behind the East Coast, because, well, they're behind us in time. Wait, don't Jews run the world? Isn't that the rumor/stereotype?

All I'm going to say is, if that rumor were true, I'd be flying to SXSW on Saturday night, not Sunday morning at the tush-crack of dawn.

For those of you planning to be at SXSWi, check out the Judaism 2.0 panel at 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday. Come and partake in the goodness hosted by myself and Mordechai, and meet the awesomest of attendees, including Leah Jones and others. Also, if you're in the Austin area but NOT attending SXSW, let me know and maybe we can do a meetup.

I'm not sure why Cabot doesn't suck it up and go OU Kosher year round, especially after my horrifying incident with their hashgacha, Tablet K, over the summer in Middlebury, Vermont, but at least they have the decency to run a limited production of OU Kosher for Passover Sharp Cheddar Cheese once a year. ONCE a year, folks. One of the local shuls is doing a fundraiser, and on the Cabot website they even tout the option of selling their cheese as a fundraiser.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd rock out this public service announcement for some delicious Cabot, OU-approved kosher for Passover cheese. After all, no Passover meal is complete without a big brick of cheese with some ... matzo?

So go buy some. And then write a letter to Cabot begging them to sell the business of kashrut to the OU permanently!

I was browsing something on Wikipedia and came across this stellar Google Sketchup image made by some fellow named Gabriel Fink of what the Tabernacle probably looked like. Of course, I don't have the specs here with me, but I think it's a pretty convincing portrait. Now if I could master the art of Google Sketchup!

I've come upon an extra copy of Marc Angel's "The Search Committee," and because I love you guys and the past month has been a big ole' month of giveaways, I thought I'd keep things rolling. I want to leave this giveaway open until I get back from SXSW Interactive next week, so the official drawing for this book will be on Thursday, March 18, 2010. How can you enter the contest? Comment on this post with the best book you've read -- fiction or nonfiction -- in the past few months.

As if we ever talk about anything at else around here anymore? Books are my joy, my life, my livelihood! As evidenced in my bookworm/bibliophile post of recent. I'd wanted to do this in a vlog, but I'm just not in the mood, and I'm in desperate need of a haircut. So for now, this is how we'll roll.

I've been meaning to write about Rabbi Marc D. Angel's new novel, "The Search Committee," for about three weeks now. The rabbi was kind enough to send me a copy of whose words I devoured quickly and with delight. To be honest, the book is an incredibly quick read. I do find it interesting, though, that his name appears on the book as "Marc Angel" and not "Rabbi ..." But maybe I'm just nitpicking! So first, some background on the rabbi.

Rabbi Angel is the rabbi emeritus of Congregation Shearith Israel of New York City (a Sephardi congregation), and is the founder of the Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals -- a group which I highly recommend you look into. They put out oodles of interesting papers and responsa about issues facing Orthodox Judaism, not to mention the greater Jewish community. Rabbi Angel is the author and editor of more than two dozen books, and this is his first work of fiction! How exciting for him and for us, eh?

So where to begin? The story revolves around a series of testimonials issued to the search committee at a prominent Yeshiveh. The most recent rosh yeshiva has died, and his replacement is to be made by this search committee. There are two rabbis in the running -- one the son of the former head of the school who is essentially staunchly similar to his father and maintaining the present order, and the other a younger rabbi who comes across as very modern in his Orthodoxy. We hear from each rabbi, their wives, students, philanthropists who give to the school, yet interestingly -- we NEVER hear from the committee itself. What a juxtaposition for the book to be titled as such and yet the committee never graces our presence.

Many of the characters are entirely believable, their testimonies sounding as though they were truly coming from the mouths of real individuals. Other characters, including (in my opinion) the deceased rosh yeshiva's son, seem almost unreal in their outrageousness. I do appreciate that the characters -- both those believable and perhaps not so much -- are deeply encamped in their Jewishness. As characters are giving their backgrounds and how they arrived at the present situation, we get long, meandering stories with often unnecessary details -- I can picture the traditional rabbi and his wife at the meeting, as if standing at the pulpit, carrying on and on with over-emphasizing hand gestures and a deep accent. The book is written very much so that we can sympathize with one party over the other, I think, and it is quite obvious that there is a message here about the old versus the new, tradition as it evolves, and the world of the yeshiveh and Orthodoxy in general -- as it accepts outsiders, new ideas and approaches, and makes decisions about the future of how it schools its children.

But to be honest, the book's outcome absolutely surprised me, and I think that for those who take the chance to pick the book, you also will be surprised. The book seems to lean one way -- it is cut and dry that there are two definite sides of Orthodoxy here -- but the outcome chosen by the search committee left me feeling perplexed and almost uncomfortable. But perhaps that is Rabbi Angel's intention, and if so, then I applaud him for a well-composed book that questions what we know and what we think we know.

I think anyone and everyone should pick up this book. I imagine Rabbi Angel has unique experiences that allow him to assist us in delving into the world of the yeshiva and the schisms between more traditional Orthodoxy and more modern Orthodoxy. It is, as I said, an incredibly quick read. So nu? Pick it up already!

From my questioning brain to your eager eyeballs, I have a question. Are you ready?

I think it's interesting that the logic behind the left-hand-ring-wearing tradition is partly due to the fact that most people are right handed and thus the ring might become busted up if worn on the dominant hand. I do, however, appreciate the idea (shared also by the Eastern Orthodox Church) of using the right hand. Why? The right hand resembles oaths, at least traditionally. Think about when you go to court or swear an oath, you're always asked to "raise your right hand." This also was a Roman and biblical tradition, that is to use the right hand. If you want to get more sticky, you can also reference the fact that the left hand is viewed as evil or sinister. Interestingly, there was a long-standing belief that people who were left-handed were somehow defective or damned. In many cultures, children were trained (I even know someone who had to deal with this in the not-so-distant past) to write with their right hand, just in case. It's just a hand people!

Anyhow, feel free to answer. I know the traditional way is to wear the wedding band on your right finger, and only much later did Jews start wearing the band on their left finger in the Protestant fashion. I'm also curious how other folks roll -- Buddhists, Hindus, Christians, etc. Different people have different traditions, so fill me in!

I've been dying to do something crafty, and because my crocheting skills have fallen very much by the wayside, I decided that motzei Shabbat Tuvia and I needed to go to one of those "paint it yourself" shops. Unfortunately, because we lollygagged so much after Shabbos ended, we were left with a mere hour to paint our masterpieces! I talked Tuvia into painting one of those things you put your rings on when you're doing the dishes or washing your hands, and I, inspired by the Gefilte Fish Plate in Judaikitsch, decided to mimic the design to the best of my ability. Here are some photos of the experience, and stay tuned for the finished, glazed and fired products (due to be picked up on Friday, March 12). Thanks to the kind lady at Claypen in West Hartford Center.

I give to you, some hilarious little Folktales from "A Treasury of Jewish Folklore." Why? Because after that last post, I need something amusing.

Strictly Kosher

The teacher of Scripture in a little Polish town got sick and tired of his drudgery and of suffering cold and hunger. He decided to become a robber. 

One day, he took a knife from the kitchen and went into the woods. Hiding behind a tree he lay in ambush for passersby. At last he saw a rich lumber dealer of the town trudging along unsuspectingly. Without a word, he threw himself upon him and raised his knife as if to stab him. Suddenly, he seemed to recall something and let the knife drop to the ground. 

"It's your lucky," he muttered. " I just remembered that this is a milchig knife!"

Potatoes

A poor Talmud student was making the rounds from one householder to another. each one, out of the goodness of his heart and as an act of piety, gave him food and lodging for several days. In one of these homes, however, he was treated with ill-grace and in a perfunctory manner. Three times daily they gave him only one dish to eat -- potatoes.

One day, when he saw the platter of potatoes being placed before hijm, he shuddered and asked his host, "Tell me please, what is the benediction that is said over potatoes?

"What a question to ask!" exclaimed his host. "You're a Talmud student, aren't you? Why, even the most ignorant man knows that you say: 'Blessed are the fruits of the earth,' over everything that comes out of the soil."

"This may be so," retorted the Talmud student, "but what should I say when the potatoes are coming out of my ears?"

A remedy for ugliness

A Talmudic student was engaged to a very ugly girl; his father had forced the match on him. He therefore took the matter very much to heart and went to talk it over with the rabbi.

"Really, Rabbi," he complained, "she's so ugly she'll make me miserable if I marry her!"

"My son, use your head!" rebuked the rabbi, with impatience. "Now let's examine the problem at issue. All right -- she's ugly. Nu, so what? Just answer me: when you're in the House of Study all day -- will you look at her? No! When you come home for meals -- will you look at her while you eat? No! When you go to bed at night -- will you look at her in the dark? No! Furthermore, when you are asleep -- will you look at her? No! Finally, in your leisure time -- will you want to look at her? No! You'll go out for a walk. So I ask -- waht's all your excitement about? When will you look at her?"

This post has been stewing for some time now. I feel really uncomfortable writing it, to be honest with you, but I feel like I need to write it. Maybe I should really look into a therapist, seriously. I think if I did do this, however, I'd run out of the stellar content I have. I have to precursor this by saying that those of you who know me will read this post with my voice in mind, not to mention my evolution and experiences. Whatever you do, please don't read only this post and attempt to pass judgment on me; you've got to know the whole story. So here goes nothing.

I converted under Reform auspices in April 2006 (wow, I'm almost four years out from that) after about 3 years of personal study, as well as studying with a rabbi. Flash forward to January 2010, and I've become more frum, keeping kosher, maintaining a shomer Shabbat lifestyle, and observing shomer negiah (much to the shock of some friends in the community). For all intents and purposes, I'm a modern frum Jew. Along with this evolution has come many other, small things, that I don't necessarily think about on a day-to-day basis. How I carry myself or the things I say. Saying modeh ani in the morning and the shema in the evening has become old hat for me. It's a reflex, if anything. And that's probably teh most appropriate way to relate these things: They have become reflexes.

Every now and again, I sit back and think, "Wow, I remembered to do this or that," and it makes me smile to know that I'm conscious of living in the manner that I do. But there are some things, some reflexes, of which I am not so proud. They're things that make me cringe and make me wonder whom I'm becoming.

My community, for example, is wonderful; I love my community. It's incredibly modern and the paths of Conservadoxish and Orthodox and Hasidic and other flavors of Judaism cross. But for the most part, if you asked anyone in my community, they would tell you that the number of families that keeps strictly shomer Shabbos is small, and the number of families that keep kosher both in and outside the house is even smaller still. I could count on probably two hands and a foot the number of families/couples I know that understand what it means to be a modern, frum Jew in a manner that is on par with Orthodoxy today, and I'm talking modern Orthodoxy, nothing Haredi or hard-line. Just your run-of-the-mill modern, Orthodox Jew.

At first, I was fine with this. I mean, I pride myself on being non-judgmental. My policy, as it always has been, is that what you do is what you do and it's your relationship with the Big Man Upstairs. I can't say whether Christians or Muslims or Jews or Buddhists or Scientologists have it right -- it's impossible, I repeat INCONCEIVABLE -- to say "I have it right, and you have it wrong." In my mind, you do what's right for you, and you call it a day. For me, Judaism is right. For others, Christianity is right. The problem comes when you look at those who are rocking the same thing. And I never thought I'd feel this way, but good lord. I think I'm becoming someone I don't like.

Within Judaism, you have Reform, Conservative, Humanist, Reconstructionist, JewBu, Hasidic, Chabad, Orthodox, Modern Orthodox, Secular, Cultural ... the list goes on and on. If they thought they had it rough back in the day with the Essenes, Sadducees, Dead Sea Sect, and Pharisees, they were just tipping the iceberg. When I was Reform, I was sort of at the "bottom of the rung" as far as the evolution of Judaism went. It was probably the most progressive and most new, and I felt the same -- fresh and new. Then I started picking up more mitzvot, and then I ended up here. Shomer mitzvot, plain and simple. The result, however, is that I look at Jews who aren't shomer mitzvot and wonder, "Why do you NOT want to be shomer mitzvot?" This happens less so when I look at my Reform or Conservative brethren than when I look at those who flatly and boldly identify themselves as "Orthodox" Jews.

I'm coming to realize that I'm not comfortable eating at the homes of people I've felt comfortable with before, because our views of shomer mitzvot are not the same. I find myself looking at friends and scrutinizing how they run their households and the choices they make. I find myself critical of those around me, how they dress and how they observe tzniut. In the beginning I thought, "I'm trying to help figure out who I am and how I'll do shomer mitzvot." And then? I woke up one day and realized that I wasn't doing that. I was doing more than that. I was noticing how frum and un-frum all of these people around me were. It made me uncomfortable, it made my stomach turn.

How do you look at a friend and say, You make me uncomfortable, over something like religion? Or not even religion, but observance of that religion. And like I said, I'm less concerned about those who aren't Orthodox than I am for those who are Orthodox. After all, if you say that you think the mitzvot aren't binding, then they aren't binding to you. Stand proud in your understanding of your chosen path. But if you say, I'm Orthodox, and the mitzvot are binding, then how can you turn around and break Shabbos or go out to eat non-kosher or any of a number of things that most people -- even people in past generations -- never thought twice about.

Who on earth am I becoming? Or have I become. I would like to think the problem is the problem of the people who say one thing and do another. But, as most psychologists would say, there's something I see in these people that I'm deflecting, it's something I don't dig about myself. But I think that's only half the battle. Perhaps the zealousness of the convert in my neshama is just frustrated, extremely frustrated. I look at every Jew and think, "You! You were born a Jew! Stand proud, stand tall, love who you are and observe the mitzvot with the passion and fire that your ancestors surely espoused!" There are those of us who fight, out of nature, to be frum. Not as a competition or because we feel like we need to be MORE Jewish or MORE observant than others, but because our neshamot are insatiably hungry. We need the mitzvot. 

I don't know. This is something that's been eating at me for a few weeks now. I go through these phases of feeling like a horrible person because I don't feel comfortable being around people that a year ago or even six months ago I was completely comfortable around. Is this the ebb and flow of a convert? Do baalei teshuvah go through the same thing? Is this natural? It feels uncomfortable, but expected.

Sigh. Mah la'asot?


Have I become a monster? To look at my fellow Orthodox Jew and think, Shame on you. Stand firm in what you firmly believe is true, no matter what that belief is. Just, be honest with yourself and those around you. Do not be two-faced, do not be double-sided, do not be someone that you truly are not.

Is that so wrong?

I have big, gigantic, amazing news. Are you ready for more good stuff in 2010/5770 for Chaviva?

I got into NYU!

Yes, I have been accepted for their Dual Degree in Education/Jewish Studies and Jewish Studies/Hebrew. Color me stoked. I also am happy to report a scholarship for tuition and fees! At NYU, that's big doings. Now, there are those of you who are thinking, Why on earth are you getting ANOTHER MA? At that, why TWO more? Well, the answer is really long and complicated, but let's just say that although I love the program here at UConn, it's not doing what I need it to do, and I wasn't qualified on paper to compete with PhD students for the caliber program I would like to be in. I'm short on language, teaching experience, you name it. Sure, I've given papers and taught classes and stuff, but it's bigger picture things that matter. There's one main professor in my program, and while he is the most awesome professor out there, he's holding the program on his own. Thus, I'm off for more academic pursuits, in the hopes of becoming a Jewish educator of tomorrow. I'm going to light all sorts of fires, darn't.

So stay tuned. We'll be talking new jobs, moving, not moving, me commuting five million hours from Connecticut (listen: this isn't an option), etc. We'll figure something out, just stay tuned. It's going to be an interesting few months!

I spent my evening over at the UConn Hillel for an IDF Soldiers Speak Out presentation, hosted by Stand With Us, the outstanding group that hosted my Birthright Trip back in 2008. The illustrious @YeahThatsKosher schlepped two IDF soldiers (Yoav and Avi, I believe it was) up to UConn (aka middle of nowhere) to talk to Hillel members about what it's like to be a soldier, the perception of the recent missions, the priorities of the IDF and Israel, and more. Although not too many people showed up (after all, there are more than 2,000 Jewish students on campus), it was a fairly good showing and the talk was interesting (I'm a sucker for an Israeli accent, too). Curious about Stand With Us? Here's the "About Us" from their website:

StandWithUs is an international education organization that ensures that Israel's side of the story is told in communities, campuses, libraries, the media and churches through brochures, speakers, conferences, missions to Israel, and thousands of pages of Internet resources.

StandWithUs was founded in 2001 in response to the misinformation that often surrounds the Middle East conflict, and the inappropriate often anti-Semitic language used about Israel and/or the Jewish people worldwide. StandWithUs has offices and chapters in Los Angeles, New York, Denver, Michigan, Chicago, Seattle, Orange County, San Francisco, Santa Cruz, the UK, Australia, and Israel.

They have oodles of information on their website, and this week being "Anti-Israel Apartheid Week" on so many college campuses, the website might have plenty to offer those of you out there looking for some good facts. One of the most shocking questions asked was by a much older gentleman who asked "Do you know what Israel is doing with the 3 billion dollars that the U.S. gives Israel?" The man went on and on about how Israel should be doing good things with "our" money -- after all, we want peace, so Israel should be using that money on peace. He also asked an asinine question about why Israel can't make a two-state solution out of making Gaza and the West Bank the Palestinian State.

Ahem.

Been there, done that. No sale. For those who aren't in the know, it's an all-or-nothing with the opposing parties. In the Hamas doctrine, in fact, it says flat out that peace doctrines or policies for peace are not part of the Islamic Hamas charter. Thus is thus. Now, I'm not saying the people talking peace with Israel are all Hamas, but you see what these Palestinians (who want peace) have to deal with.

My message? Read your materials, get your facts straight, know your history. Be an informed, global citizen! And most of all? Support Israel. Just do it!

And now for some post-IDF talk bus-waiting photography.