The Every-now-and-again Hodgepodge Post

For some reason, my dermatologist is fascinated with kabbalah (that is, he's fascinated with all the hoopla), so during my procedure today I explained what (little) I know about it to him. When I was there last week, he asked questions about why I was Jewish, if you recall, which I blogged about here. I just thought it was interesting, and if anything, it kept my mind off of the bit that was going on on my back. Two weeks of gauzing and healing and hopefully I'll be done dealing with this blasted problem. It's funny because I asked him whether genetics play a role in skin cancer, and he said that a lot of the time they do, but a lot of the time it's also time spent in the sun. The thing is ... I don't know if you all have looked at me lately, but I'm the last person you see sun bathing. I learned to love my pasty-white skin early on and I actually avoid the sun most of the time. How peculiar then, eh?

At any rate, I thought I'd share a few tidbits of information I found lately relating to the world o' Judaism in some capacity or another. So here you go, all the stuff that's fit to print.

+ Starring presently as Squeak in Oprah's The Color Purple is someone you might not suspect to be a Jew! It's Stephanie St. James, who is the granddaughter of a Holocaust survivor. St. James, whose father is a Guyenese-born Israeli, identifies herself as neither African or American, but identifies very strongly with her Jewish roots and intends on raising her eventual children in a Jewish home. You can read her story here.

+ I know I blogged about the only kosher culinary school before, but I can't seem to find a link. The school, Jerusalem Culinary Institute located in Israel, was sort of a difficult venture for Jews in the Diaspora. Though many successful Jewish and kosher cooks come out of other programs, many have wanted and sought out a school that focuses on kosher cooking. Well, guess what!? Recently opened in Flatbush in New York is the Center for Kosher Culinary Arts. The intensive program is six weeks and costs a mere $4,500. There's a story by JTA here.

+ A new documentary focuses on the gap between Israeli and Diaspora Jews, questioning when and how it happened. The film follows American Jews of all walks as they visit Israel. I guess the film came out earlier this year, but it's the first I'm hearing about it unless I completely missed something. The film is called Eyes Wide Open and you can visit the website here.

+ Over on Jewsbychoice.org, Shimshonit has blogged about an upcoming book by Professor Jonathan Sarna of Brandeis. Yes, had I chosen Brandeis over UConn, I could probably have experienced greatness. But, well, those hefty student loans just didn't appeal to me. At any rate, his new book sounds pretty fascinating. The book, A Time to Every Purpose: Letters to a Young Jew, explores not so much the why to be Jewish, but the how. From what I can gather, it's an essential introduction/reintroduction to Judaism.




That's all for now, readers. Come back tomorrow when hopefully I have something worthwhile to say about my impending move to Connecticut where I will have to settle into a college-style Jewish community, how it will relate/compare to my undergraduate experience, and what it means for shul-going ... and how often I might trek myself down to NYC for some Jew-time on the weekends (Peter Pan buses, hooray!).

On this Day: June 4

I like doing "on this date in history" posts, simply because there's a void of information -- historic information -- thanks to the constant, ever-growing flow of data and useless information we get from television and the internet. So I present to you, some interesting things of note.

+ On this date in 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt refused to allow the passengers of the SS St. Louis -- more than 900 Jewish refugees from Europe -- to enter the United States.

+ In 781 B.C.E, the first historic solar eclipse is recorded in China.

+ It was in 1971 that the patent for the ATM was handed out to three individuals.

+ Massachusetts becomes the first U.S. state to set a minimum wage -- in 1912!

+ In 1917, the first Pulitzer prizes are handed out.

+ Finally, today is sort of an unofficial memorial day for the incidents at Tiananmen Square in 1989. In fact, the government keeps a tight watch on the square on this day to make sure nothing goes down. The incident is known in China colloquially as "Six-Four," and supposedly, there are more than 100 people still imprisoned from the incident, and there's even an article about civil rights activists urging China to release the prisoners. I mean, come on ... it's 19 years later.

Grandfather Would be Dismayed.

My mother sent me a story yesterday, and I didn't manage to open it today. I thought it was probably something irrelevant and "funny" since those tend to be the e-mails I get from her (forwards and what have you). But this e-mail contained a story about the Ozarks chapter of the Pearl Harbors Survivors disbanding.

My grandmother was the lone person who voted against disbanding. I can't imagine how alone she must feel now.

When the group -- started by my grandfather -- began, there were more than 100 members. This was in the 1980s. Today, there are 17 survivors in that chapter, and the youngest is just a hair over 80. Only nine members were at this final meeting; I'm guessing the rest were physically/mentally unable to attend. Thus, nine of the 100 made the decision to disband the chapter.

It's strange to me thinking about World War II how many stories were never told, will never be told. The WW II generations are dying, and there isn't enough time to capture all that's there. Add in that so many of the survivors of camps, the Holocaust, Pearl Harbor, etc. are in such advanced age that memories are not what they once were. Truths are not necessarily facts -- but the embellishments are what make the memories worth listening to all the while.

There's a video on the site, but I can't get it to load. If I do, I'll post it.

I just wanted to mention this. It's one of those sad realizations that as time goes on, the events that shape our world do indeed fade away sometimes with those who saw them with their own eyes. I imagine that in 60 years, this is what will be happening to my generation when it comes to 9/11. It's weird to think about. It's really sobering.

The Conversion Debacle.

Frequent readers will note that I haven't written on, let alone mentioned, the big blow up over the possible revocation of Orthodox conversions in Israel. I've read dozens of blog posts on this, and seen even more news reports about the repercussions across the world and in Israel.

Converts' marriages were put on hold while the dust settled and rulings were analyzed. Then the Conference of European Rabbis declared all converts completing the process in Israel would be invalid. Today, the Prime Minister's Office fired the embroiled rabbi, Chaim Druckman, tied up in this whole eruption -- citing "old age" as the reason. Right. And then, of course, there are the Aussie rabbis who have jumped up to say "none of that going on here!"

In the past day, Google blog search shows 11 posts with the word "Druckman" in them. In the past week? 42. In the past month, 165. The number seem low, especially from how many posts I see just among those on my blog roll.

I'm on an Orthodox women's listserv, and there have been nearly 30 responses in the past five days about the situation from the eyes of Orthodox women, some who converted and some lucky enough (in this instance) to be pretty much unaffected by the situation. At least, not yet.

You question Reform conversions. You question Conservative conversions. Reconstructionist. And now? Orthodox. Those conversions performed in the land that G-d would give us, no less. So who is to say that those who were born, grew up, are living, whose ancestors generations and generations back lived observantly -- who is to say that these Jews won't have to pull out the paperwork, the family tree, the marriage certificates? It's the slippery slope mentality, and I hate it. But I'm worried it's what's happening.

In a perfect world, we'd all be Jewish -- the way Torah means those of the Jewish faith to be. It would be black and white, there would be no factions. But that would also completely obliterate the tradition of questioning and debating and the perpetual argument over what Torah means when it says "do not kindle a fire on the Sabbath."

All the while, my hat goes off to Chief Sephardi Rabbi Shlomo Amar for pushing for the conversions to remain recognized. Why does it seem like in all things Sephardim are so much more laid back? Kitniyot is no big thing, conversions by Druckman are no big thing ...

So why haven't I written about this? It happened weeks ago. There have been oodles of posts and comments over on Jewsbychoice.org -- where I contribute -- and I've mostly remained mum. I haven't commented in the listserv (then again, in truth my opinion there doesn't necessarily count since my conversion was Reform, making me not a Jew -- legally -- in the eyes of the Orthodox community for the most part).

The truth is, I don't know. Or maybe it's that I don't care. I think apathy and indifference has taken over on this one. Maybe in light of the recent events of being called out on a public forum as "not a Jew, EVER" I just burned out. Maybe, I just don't have the energy to fight it right now.

My philosophy has always been -- and mostly still is, though I have moments of weakness where I'm beaten to pulp emotionally over the topic by others -- that I'm a Jew. That much is black and white. I either am or am not, and I most certainly am. A black woman convert once said that she tells people that she was born Jewish, just not in a Jewish womb, and I think it's pretty accurate. Some are blessed being born into it from breath number one, and some of us have to get there. It's like realizing you have a nose when you're a baby. It's an amazing feeling, too.

But I'm a Jew. I'll jump through thirty hoops and dip in the mikvah a dozen times if you want. What do I care?

There will always be people who think you're not enough. Or that you're too much (as it seems to be the case with me sometimes). And the balance is necessary. These negative Nancy and positive Petes keep you in check, they keep you fighting, they keep you passionate and alive. They remind you that it is not effortless to be a Jew -- convert or not. Someone will always want you to cover more or butcher the cow yourself, and someone else will tell you to loosen up and let your hair down and eat that non-kosher candy bar. It's becuase it isn't black and white.

So this is all I have to say -- right now anyway -- on this whole conversion debacle in Israel and Europe and everywhere else that converts are feeling the burn. I feel for them, we're kindred spirits wandering back to the mount together, catching up with the rest of the tribe camped there. I understand the frustration and the hurt, and I understand the want for it all to just go away and for the slippery slope to flatten out and become coarse as sand paper. But for now, we'll forge forth, nu?

There is always someone standing in our path, and that never changes. It is the reaction to the situation that truly matters. And me? Well, you'll see how I turn out.

Two websites and one article.

This is a completely random blog post. Enjoy!

Everyone should join SwapTree.com and pick up some of my books! There's some quality Judaica on there, folks, among other things. You can see what I have and what I want by clicking here. It's such a snazzy idea -- trading movies, music, books and games. Awesome!

On an unrelated note: If you love cupcakes, let me guide you to the Cupcake Project. There are recipes and delicious photos.

And finally, I think this article is incredibly fascinating. It's about a woman from an Ethiopian Jewish tribe who organized Ethiopian seders at a restaurant in Edgewater here in Chicago over the weekend. I wish I had known about the seders! Argh!

The Jews of Ethiopia, known as Beta Israel or “House of Israel,” are a community with ancient traditions. The earliest reference dates back to the Ninth Century.

Most of Beta Israel no longer lives in Ethiopia though. In the 1970s, the rise of a Marxist government led to civil war and famine spread through the Horn of Africa, leading to a series of historic Israeli airlifts – called operations Moses (1984), Joshua (1985) and Solomon (1991) – to save about 42,000 Ethiopian Jews and take them to safety in Israel.

This exodus from Ethiopia mirrors the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt, and both stories were highlighted in the Seders [Zenash] Beyene hosted. ...

I miss everything,” she said. “I miss my people. I miss my religion.”

In Ethiopia, the Jewish culture was very strong Orthodox, she said. Their customs followed the rules and rituals laid out in the Torah, and are in line with Judaism practiced during the time of Moses.

This is because many Ethiopian Jews believe they are descendants of Moses, since his wife was Ethiopian and his relatives separated from the rest of the Israeli tribes after leaving Egypt. Others believe that they are descendants of Menelik I, the son of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba.

The great mimick!

Seeing as I finally finished typing the professor's last chapter to his (unfinished but nearly finished) book, I have a lot of spare time on my hands here at work. I downloaded a new Twitter client (in case anyone is watching me, I'm "kvetchingeditor") and have been perusing recipes to try and tie together my meal plan for next week. I've also been look at a variety of stories and tid bits on the web, and I think it's appropriate that my RSS is feeding me lots of Pesach-centered stuff.

In particular is this fancy kvetch: "Is That Brownie Safe to Eat?" The author points out that at some point in the chain of Jewish history, chicken was parve and the rules around kitniyot were looked at as being some kind of crazy ballyhoo. This little spiel got me thinking, though. I'm one of those people who doesn't eat food that is trying to be other food -- thus, I don't eat sausage, I don't eat fake bacon, I don't eat veggie burgers (I eat black bean burgers, there's a difference) laden with grill marks with that smokey, familiar flavor, I just don't eat things that want to be things that aren't kosher or that are faux ______. It's just silly to me. So when I make matzo pizza or matzo lasagna or chicken coated in matzo meal (think: breadcrumbs!), am I a big fat hypocrite? I mean, I don't eat pizza regularly anymore since joining up with the WW, and I never make lasagna, and I rarely -- if ever -- cook chicken (or any meat) at home. So maybe that makes it okay? But isn't it also like avoiding the point? I wonder what people made back in the day. I wonder if it was just matzo, matzo, matzo.

On that note, here's an interesting factoid: In the middle ages, matzo were as much as an INCH THICK!

A News Roundup!

It's Thursday here in Chavi-land, and both of the bosses are out of the office (and country), so things are quite slow, considering the scanner doesn't work and there's not much paper-pushing to be had. So I thought I would post a couple news stories of interest. Eat it up, folks!

+ Jewish Groups Placed on Security Alert: It would appear that a variety of incidents and threats have caused a U.S. Jewish security group to warn its members to be more aware and on the look out. There have been 7 threats/attacks since mid-February, not to mention that the 40-day mourning period for the Hezbollah leader killed in Syria has ended. Likewise, the Department of Homeland Security has instructed officials to inspect Jewish sites. No rest for the weary?

+ No Tam Tam Crackers for Pesach: This was going to be my year to give them a try, but it looks like there will be no Tam Tams for Chavi during Passover. For the first time in 68 years, the crackers won't be available -- because of oven problems.

Why can't we all just get along?

Seriously. Can we quit trying to out frum each other? I'm sure someone's trying to prove something to the Israeli community by FREAKING OUT about the Hasid who was starring with Natalie Portman in a new movie.

This is just ridiculous. More here.

Prove you're Jewish.

So I just posted a hastily written blog over at Jewsbychoice.org about a story in the New York Times -- How Do You Prove You're a Jew? I won't post the whole blog here, mostly because I know I have plenty of non-Jewish readers who probably are occasionally sent away by my constant Jewish ramblings. So I thought I'd leave it over there. But let's just say that the story is about a Jewish woman who grew up on a kibbutz in Israel who went to get married and was told she's not a Jew simply because her mother hailed from the U.S. of A. Every day there is another story about converts being questioned about their Jewishness by the courts of Israel, and today, today we have the absolute limits -- a Jew-by-birth with a long, long history of a big, fat, happy Jewish family being questioned by the courts, unable to marry without proving that she's Jewish.

It's never been easy, and it never will be. But here, let me show you my conversion certificate. No, not really. It's quite beautiful. I keep it packed away in an envelope with my important documents and bills and passport and birth certificate. Either way, it's really not accepted by much of the Conservative movement and none of the Orthodox -- especially in Israel. I'm okay with this, and I have full intentions of jumping through the hoops again someday to really solidify in the eyes of the ignorant that I'm 100 percent kugel-eating Jewish.

But until then, I read these articles and shake my head and watch children be killed for studying Torah and I think -- really, couldn't we be doing something better with our time than arguing over who is a Jew? I mean, how many people willingly CLAIM their Jewish status like some kind of out and proud Star of David on my chest, please don't hate on me kinda person? It isn't like it was in the 1880s or the 1940s or anything. It isn't like someone's going to shoot you for being Jewish nowadays in most parts of the world. Or is it?

I don't know. I just know I'm frustrated.

Everybody get High ... on Sinai!

I have to thank Cesar for pointing this story out to me. And now, I share it with you. It's brief, so I'll post the whole thing here for your viewing pleasure.

Was the Bible written while high?
From correspondents in Jerusalem
March 05, 2008 12:01am
Article from: Reuters

THE biblical Israelites may have been high on a hallucinogenic plant when Moses brought the Ten Commandments down from Mount Sinai, according to a new study by an Israeli psychology professor.

Writing in the British journal Time and Mind, Benny Shanon of Jerusalem's Hebrew University said two plants in the Sinai desert contain the same psychoactive molecules as those found in plants from which the powerful Amazonian hallucinogenic brew ayahuasca is prepared.

The thunder, lightning and blaring of a trumpet which the Book of Exodus says emanated from Mount Sinai could just have been the imaginings of a people in an "altered state of awareness", Shanon hypothesised.

"In advanced forms of ayahuasca inebriation, the seeing of light is accompanied by profound religious and spiritual feelings," Mr Shanon wrote.

"On such occasions, one often feels that in seeing the light, one is encountering the ground of all Being ... many identify this power as God."

Mr Shanon wrote that he was very familiar with the affects of the ayahuasca plant, having "partaken of the ... brew about 160 times in various locales and contexts".

He said one of the psychoactive plants, harmal, found in the Sinai and elsewhere in the Middle East, has long been regarded by Jews in the region as having magical and curative powers.

Some biblical scholars were unimpressed. Orthodox rabbi Yuval Sherlow told Israel Radio: "The Bible is trying to convey a very profound event. We have to fear not for the fate of the biblical Moses, but for the fate of science."

Yes folks, we were just hallucinating!

Two things. That caught my eye.

Happy Thursday, and a few things. I've had a lot, we're talking OODLES of free time at work today. I managed to do up my dad's resume, compile a list of my boss's events for 2008, open bucketloads of mail, and many other important things. But among that, I've had lots of web time. I did the hop from one blog to the other to news sites thing and found a couple things worth mentioning. So here we are for the day.

+ Israel is absolutely near a final agreement to get Gilad Shalit, the Israeli soldier who has been held captive for more than a year by Palestinian militants, back into Israel. The catch? Well, they have to release 100 prisoners, some who are terrorists associated with Hamas, upon Shalit's being handed over to Egyptian security personnel ... not to mention the other 100 prisoners Israeli has to release after Shalit makes it back to Israel. That's 200 dangerous people who want Israel blown off the face of the planet, mind you. Now, I'd all but forgotten about Shalit, and I feel really bad about saying that, but it's one of those things that was horrible for the first six months and then became this ridiculous stand-off where you knew they weren't going to kill him. They'd hold him for a hundred years if they could, trying to get their dangerous criminals released. Also, this seems like the kind of thing that will happen, with frequency, for as long as there is no peace or at least an understanding between Israelis/Palestinians.

+ There was a little write-up over on Jewschool from Christmas Day about a conference ABOUT Reform Judaism. Recently, the Union for Reform Judaism threw a big bash out in San Diego and from what I hear, it went swimmingly. The writer on Jewschool, though, makes a point to express that this conference (held in Israel) was not hosted by the URJ, but rather by the Van Leer Institute. The slide posted along with that post has a professor at Brandeis asking one of her students why he/she is going on to rabbinical school to be a Reform rabbi. The answer is not only shocking, but deeply disturbing.

Well, I want to keep on learning more about Judaism. I want to study Jewish texts all the time, till I learn as much as I can. I want to explore Jewish rituals, to lead a committed Jewish life. I'm a committed Reform Jew, and I want study to be central to my life, but I sure don't want to be a rabbi. That's just the only way I can continue to study and stay in the Reform movement.

Say what? There are people going to rabbinical school who just want to be Reform Jews but think -- for some reason -- that they can't do so without hitting up rabbinical school? The professor said this response is the sentiment of many of her students, too. The only thing shocking than this response is the comments that follow the posting. It would appear that this is a common thing -- people going to rabbinical school to merely study Judaism, but with no intentions of becoming rabbis. Why do these people not pursue Master's or PhD's in Judaic studies? It just seems ... illogical to me. Or is this, perhaps, the sign that there is not enough Jewish education available for adults? Almost every shul I've gone to has had active Jewish Adult Education classes, but few people ever attended them, and most of those who did happened to be older, in their 50s and 60s. So what is the 20-something Jew to do to keep up on Jewish living?

Not go to rabbinical school for kicks and giggles, that's what.

Israel and Palestine: A Roadmap to Nowhere

I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated with peace, the two-state "solution," and I'm frustrated with the effort. I'm frustrated that for nearly 60 years there has been nothing but talk talk talk. I'm frustrated that there will never be a solution to the Palestinian-Israeli conflict.

I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. When I say that there will never be a solution, what I really mean is that the next great war, the next great instigation of demolition and destruction of the human soul and hope will arise in Israel, likely in Jerusalem.

The thing is, the talks that are going on today are not new. The people there at the talks know this. They're not naive or stupid. They know that the things they are saying have been repeated, rinsed, and repeated since the creation of the State of Israel in 1948. Except, well, maybe for Bush. He seems to stay optimistic. Who wouldn't want to solve the great Middle East debacle before leaving office, especially with the striped past 6 years he's had?

[The text of the agreement to kick off the talks can be read here.]

The talks will always, always stall on one thing: Jerusalem.

Everyone has a claim on it, and you can't split the city up three ways -- to Christians, Muslims and Jews. It just doesn't work that way. And even if you could split it up (which has been talked about before, believe me), no one will go for it. That's the other big thing.

In the past, talks have often stalled because it's all or nothing.

I can't even enumerate how many options have been suggested in the 60 years since the creation of Israel. It's almost nauseating the give and take and give and take and desperation. In the 1960s there were a group of Palestinians willing to compromise, willing to seek peace and leave the "all or nothing" philosophy behind. But those people were killed, and it is believed those who died trying to create peace were killed by the very Palestinians they wanted to help. Their own people!

I almost find it hard to discuss the situation. When I worked at the Washington Post, two of my coworkers asked me what I was going to do with my future after leaving the Post. I responded that I was going to go to graduate school for Judaic studies. One asked me what I thought about the situation in Israel, and I explained that it's pretty helpless and gave her my reasons. The other suggested I make it my goal to build a better Israel for Israelis and Palestinians. I smiled, knowing the impossibility of such a thought. Not because I'm incapable, but because I try not to involve myself in the situation, neither in discussion nor in action.

My reasons were this: Jerusalem will not, and can not be divided, thus creating the world's greatest stalemate over the world's most contested area; religious fervor and war will be the end all to this discussion. Additionally, the problem that many in the 60s ran into was that Palestinians were more comfortable playing the victim than they were with peace. Everyone knows that it is easier to be in pain and be hurt than it is to seek the best, most socially responsible route to success. It's like being unhappy is easier than trying to be happy. It's not rocket science, it's just the way we are. I'm not saying Palestinians to blame, but they've raised generations of victims, and Israel -- not to mention the Arab states -- haven't done a thing to see that change. The Palestinians are comfortable being the world's largest refugee population. If you take that away from them, they're just another people. What's so special about that? And finally, the Arab world has turned its back on the Palestinians time and time again, leaving the Palestinians to exist as a refugee population, so how are they any better than Israel? In the beginning, several Arab states -- namely Jordan -- were interested in the issue with motive more than murder and genocide. Then, poof. Nobody wanted anything to do with the Palestinians. Once again, they could safely be the victim, wanting it all or nothing.

So I guess the biggest question is: What now?

I don't have an answer. No one does. You can create all the peace plans in the world. You can say "poor Israel" or "poor Palestinians." You can cut off every Arab country in the world that plans a suicide bomber in Israel in the name of Allah, and you can do the same to every militant Israeli group that seeks to rid his or her country of Palestinians. You can do whatever you want politically and socially, but it isn't going to fix the situation. I don't think there *is* a way to fix the situation. This doesn't mean don't try, it just means ... maybe time could be spent on something else.

What I do have an answer for, is the effects of the conflict. There's that old saying about prevention, how you should go for the source, don't treat the effects or however it goes. It's like the man who loses his leg in a horrible car wreck. Why focus on finding and mending the leg when you could focus instead on how his life will be changed and how to make him better as a result? I'm not saying don't fight for peace, but in reality you can't focus on fixing the problem, you have to focus on fixing the effect it has on society. You can create social organizations, you can educate people, you can give to the Red Cross, you can heal the wounded, feed the hungry. These things are NOT futile, they're necessary. They're doable.

I don't mean to be another pimple on the face of the conflict, but folks, being a realist does not mean giving up hope and being a pessimist. It just means that you understand the history of the situation and that you understand the cyclical nature of these talks, the ramifications, the stalemate, the inevitable devastation. And if it so happens that peace is reached, that a Palestinian state is created, that Israel or the Palestinians give up wanting Jerusalem on THEIR side of the state? Then I'm taking every Jew I know out for a big ole beer and some brisket. And hold me to that.

Until then, I will sit and wait for another Aziz Shehadeh to appear and fight for the two-state solution in a logical, caring manner for the Palestinian people. And maybe I'll reread Strangers in the House, and pray truly hard that peace be possible, not just this tug-of-war pot of frustration and destruction.

Sometimes I ask myself, was this *really* what Theodor Herzl wanted?

Um ...

When Christianity and Scientology meet: Click Here.

It looks like this is happening in low income areas. Is this surprising? No, it isn't. I'm not going to lie. In my world, Scientology is a parasitic "faith." In my mind, it's like Mormonism. I'm not going to deny that it is any different in its efforts for proselytizing than is Evangelical Christianity or deeply religious Jewish groups, but Scientology and Mormonism are very, very persistent and insistent on finding converts.

(Rev. Charles) Kennedy knew that before he could introduce any Scientology-related text to his congregation, he would have to prove that it did not contradict his Christian beliefs. And so, he found Scripture to match each of the 21 principles (in "The Way to Happiness" -- Hubbard's 64-page, self-described "common sense guide to better living").

Weird, non?

Ann Coulter strikes again!

In my humble opinion, I think Ann Coulter is probably the worst thing to happen to women, and perhaps to punditry (after folks like Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh, etc.). I take anything and everything she says with, well, not even a grain of salt. It's like reading the tabloids or staring through a window at a white wall. But it's also like a trainwreck -- sometimes you just have to look. Curiosity is piqued, and you want to know "who are you, and when are the aliens coming to take you home?" On that note, I'd like everyone to head over to PerezHilton.com to this little gem of a transcript from Ms. Coulter's recent interview on CNBC with Donny Deutsch, who just so happens to be Jewish. She basically says that Jews need to be "perfected" and that Christianity is the one true way because they follow the laws and that the Jews lose because G-d was always pissed because we couldn't figure out how to follow all the laws, thus making Christians G-d's favorite child and the Jews those folks who just haven't figured it out yet!

Among the gems of the article are the following:

COULTER: No, it’s true. I give all of these speeches at megachurches across America, and the one thing that’s really striking about it is how utterly, completely diverse they are, and completely unself-consciously. You walk past a mixed-race couple in New York, and it’s like they have a chip on their shoulder. They’re just waiting for somebody to say something, as if anybody would. And —

DEUTSCH: I don’t agree with that. I don’t agree with that at all. Maybe you have the chip looking at them. I see a lot of interracial couples, and I don’t see any more or less chips there either way. That’s erroneous.

COULTER: No. In fact, there was an entire “Seinfeld” episode about Elaine and her boyfriend dating because they wanted to be a mixed-race couple, so you’re lying.

DEUTSCH: Oh, because of some “Seinfeld” episode? OK.

Obviously she digs Seinfeld; maybe her and Jerry should sit down and have a heart to heart about perfecting themselves?

COULTER: No. I’m sorry. It is not intended to be. I don’t think you should take it that way, but that is what Christians consider themselves: perfected Jews. We believe the Old Testament. As you know from the Old Testament, God was constantly getting fed up with humans for not being able to, you know, live up to all the laws. What Christians believe — this is just a statement of what the New Testament is — is that that’s why Christ came and died for our sins. Christians believe the Old Testament. You don’t believe our testament.

COULTER: No, no, no, no, no. I don’t want you being offended by this. This is what Christians consider themselves, because our testament is the continuation of your testament. You know that. So we think Jews go to heaven. I mean (Jerry) Falwell himself said that, but you have to follow laws. Ours is “Christ died for our sins.” We consider ourselves perfected Christians. For me to say that for you to become a Christian is to become a perfected Christian is not offensive at all.

Let it be noted: This woman is a babbling moron.

More on the new Reform siddur.

I'm not sure if this came out before, or if this is new stuff. An article came out a week or two ago about a controversial prayer that was re-added to the new Reform siddur, which I wrote about here a month ago. The new prayer book -- Mishkan T'filah -- is expected to be out and about pretty quick here. The ins and outs of the new siddur can be found on the URJ website here.

But the reason we're here -- the restoration of a controversial prayer! Way back when, when Judaism was splitting all over the place, one of the great diverting theologies was over the idea of the resurrection of the dead. This goes back to the Pharisees and the Sadducees, with the former supporting resurrection theology and the latter rejecting it for not being explicitly mentioned in Torah. The idea of resurrection even appears in Maimonides' 13 Principles of Faith. "Traditional" Jews still very much support the idea of resurrection, which foresees that at the coming of the messiah (since the Jewish messiah has yet to come), the righteous will be resurrected to enjoy the fruits of their righteous efforts.

There are some within Judaism who consider this theology to span to the idea of reincarnation of the soul, continuing on the work that was promised at Sinai in an effort to perpetuate and satisfy tikkun olam. These stories and ideas are largely held within Chasidic sects, and interestingly this idea is most definitely apparent in Chaim Potok's "My Name is Asher Lev" when Asher begins to question whether his divergence from the family trade is somehow harming the soul traveling from generation to generation within his family (as he's tormented by his great ancestor in his dreams).

But what does this all mean for Reform Judaism? In 1885, the Pittsburgh Platform explicitly DENIED bodily resurrection, as it seemed irrational and contrary to logic. Then there's this:

In prior Reform prayer books, the traditional blessing of God as the one who revives the dead — in Hebrew, “m’chayeih hameitim” — was changed to “m’chayeih hakol,” literally “who gives life to all.” The new prayer book includes the modified version, but also offers worshipers the ancient formulation as an alternative.

And more than 120 years later, here we are.

The new siddur, as I mentioned, is completely about inclusiveness. It's shooting at the whole body of Reform folks -- religious, non-religious, secular, non-Jewish spouses, etc. So by including the revamped version and the historically "traditional" version, the authors are hoping to pique the interest of curious parties and perhaps those who are aiming to be more traditional.

If anything, the inclusion of the traditional prayer and perhaps some accompanying gleanings can offer the reader -- religious or not -- a perspective of constant restoration of the self and of the soul. On Yom Kippur we're restored, no? The article has some interesting takes on the importance of the prayer, resurrection and messiah theology. Read it!

I'm really excited for the new prayerbook (though my opinions of resurrection theology are undeveloped, at best), because I've grown weary of the constant "return to tradition" that includes nothing more than a little more Hebrew in the service. I'm hoping this book will offer some truly more traditional takes on Judaism that hold to the tenets of a progressive Judaism, while also maintaining the roots and history and meaning of the thousands of years of Jewishness that preceded us.

In my eternal struggle to place myself on the spectrum of Judaism, I'm looking at the new prayerbook positively and hoping it'll keep me excited and searching.

Living biblically.

I'll admit. This guy is pretty admirable.

A diversion from Judaism.

I'm diverting (slightly) from Jewish talk for a moment to highlight my favorite all-time state senator -- Ernie Chambers of Nebraska, also the longest-serving state senator of all time in Nebraska.

Why? You ask. Check out this news story, which features Chambers's lawsuit against G-d! So sayeth the news piece:

Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

I mean, really, folks, does it get any better than that? The lawsuit, of course, is a tactical move, aimed at a ridiculous lawsuit (discussed in the article, of course). The man is a genius. His filibusters are lengthy, his amendments are hilarious.

He was first featured in 1966's "A Time for Burning," an Oscar-nominated flick about a pastor trying to get his congregation (all white) to reach out to the black community. It lost the pastor his job, but put Chambers in the eyes of the public. He was first voted into the senate in 1970. Among some of his famous efforts were the 1989 Franklin Coverup Hoax and his support in 2006 of what was basically state-sanctioned segregation in Omaha Public Schools.

Really, the man's a genius. In an effort to prove the idiocy of so much in politics, he comes out as the hero shining brightly on his stead of justice for the downtrodden. The greatest thing about Ernie Chambers, though, is that so much of his life is a mystery. At 70 years old, I can only hope that there's a secret manuscript somewhere that will unleash the details of his life the moment he passes (though here's hoping that's 30-40 years down the line).

But for your lawsuit against G-d, Ernie, I salute you. Keep on keeping on, and being the coolest state senator EVER.

A few little news clips.

I've happ'd upon a few articles or tidbits in the news that I thought I'd bring to the attention to the masses (hah) of readers of my blog.

+ First, of course, I have to mention Esther ... er ... Madonna ... er ... whatever her name is. She was in Israel to ring in the New Year and hung out with Shimon Peres (Israel's president) and they bestowed holy books upon each other. I think Hugo Rifkind over at the Times Online put it quite poinently when he said:

Madonna, who is to actual Judaism what the Beach Boys were to actual surfing (in that she can’t do it, and doesn’t really want to, but pretends it has influenced her songs), has been visiting Israel for the Jewish new year. “I am an ambassador for Judaism,” she told Shimon Peres, the Israeli President. Maybe she could open an embassy in Baghdad.

How can she be an ambassador for Judaism, when she isn't Jewish? QUE!? I do not understand!

On a similar note, Rosie O'Donnell also was in Israel to get her kabbalah on. When it was suggested perhaps she'd gone all converty on us, her response on Perezhilton.com was "there is no need to convert /its not a religion." Gag me with a freakin' spoon. When will the kabbalah bandwagon quit rolling? Really, I'm tired of hearing about Madonna and her posse.

+ Dennis Prager of The Bulletin rails against Rabbi Eric Yoffie, the head of the Reform movement, in this article over a talk he gave to the Islamic Society of North America, where he said:

"Why should anyone criticize the voluntary act of a woman who chooses to wear a headscarf or a veil? Surely the choice these women make deserves our respect, not to mention the full protection of the law."

His conclusion is that Yoffie was trying to cozy in with the audience and thus round-about supported one of the most oppressive things "imposed" upon women. Now, isn't it possible that Rabbi Yoffie understands that there is no way to say what is right and what is wrong. Imposing one's beliefs on another is not the way we get things done, last time I checked. Thus, this statement, to me, is him simply saying "Islam is Islam, and no one should criticize it." It's sort of like ... it would be if a Muslim leader said no one should criticize women wearing wigs to cover their hair in public. Would he be endorsing it? Probably not. I highly doubt Yoffie was in any way attempting to ENDORSE the burkah.

Seriously man, get a grip.

There's nothing like waking up to idiocy.

I was sort of shocked to read this article in the Seoul Times today about the state of Israel and how Israel should pay reparations to Palestinians (okay) and how Zionists are busy raping Palestine in the name of already-resolved promises. So say the article:

The fact is that almost none of the Jews in modern Israel today are descendants of the original Jews of Palestine thousands of years ago. Most of the Jews in Israel today are descendants of Europeans who had converted to Judaism in the Middle Ages (known as Khazar or Ashkenazi Jews).

Now, it's clear that this guy has no idea what an Ashkenazic Jew is. They aren't Jews who converted ... they're just Jews. Then he says:

Unlike before, almost all Arabs, including Palestinians, now will recognize Israel's right to exist or, at least, will not wage war with Israel if Israel completely withdraws to its pre-1967 borders.

Really? Are you SURE about that? Because last time I checked, that as a big "not true." Yes, a lot have decided that maybe it is possible for there to be a Jewish state, and that yes, perhaps Israel should be left there. But the majority still think NO. In discussing the terrorist acts of Jews in the initial stages of the creation of the state of Israel (which I will not deny):

During that time Palestinian families suffered huge atrocities at the hands of Jewish immigrants including many pregnant Palestinian Arab women having their wombs ripped open alive and their babies slaughtered before their very eyes.

Could he be a little more graphic? Then there's this tidbit:

Ultimately, the Islamic jihadis are interested in imposing a theocracy of their fundamentalist version of Islam on all Muslims and eventually the wole world, but they will continue to win hearts and minds in the Islamic world against the U.S. so long as we continue to let Palestine be raped by Jewish Zionists.

At this point, I'm thinking this guy has some issues with the Jewish community as a whole. He's a self-proclaimed Indian Christian and this article goes on and on about the raping of Palestinians. Yet he doesn't mention the fact that the issue is two-faced. It takes two to tango, bucko, and the Palestinians have done plenty of pillaging of the Jews on their own in Israel.

No matter what way you put it, this article ... this OPINION piece ... is absolutely juvenile, ill informed, lacking a history or understanding of the conflict. I could give this guy two or three books to read that might make him sound a little more feasible and not so much like an anti-Zionist windbag. I appreciate that everyone can have their own opinion, but I'm so tired of people using the Fox-style tactics of horror and awe, no to mention fallacies, to get their point across.

What a way to start the day! Maybe I'll e-mail him my thoughts. Or if you have some, feel free to correct his historical errors yourself! He can be reached at: bgrnathan@yahoo.com.

The New Siddur ... here's hoping it actually comes out this time!

So I saw this little gem in the New York Times about the Union for Reform Judaism preparing to adopt a new prayer book. Hold the phone. Weren't we going to do this like ... a year ago? Six months ago? Three months ago? This thing has been in the works for AGES. At one service last year I heard that the printing was halted because of some typos. Then I heard that the printing was halted so that all the Harry Potter books could make it out in time.

Either way, I'm a fan of the new book.

I attended a service up north at a synagogue I ended up passing on where the head honcho was one of the leading rabbis on the new siddur. I knew this immediately because their personal prayerbook (they'd left the old Gates of Prayer behind long ago) was printed in the style that I had seen in the sneak peeks we'd gotten back home in Nebraska at B'Nai Jeshurun. It appeared for a long time that the union was sending out bits and pieces to rabbis for use in sort of acclimating their congregations to the new style of the forthcoming (still waiting!) prayerbook. It's a complete — COMPLETE — change from the old version.


If you poke at that article, there's an interactive section that shows you a bit of the new prayerbook. I like to call it the "choose your own adventure" prayerbook (its new name being Mishkan T'filah). Why? Well, each page is full of the Hebrew, the English and the transliteration, in addition to a lot of gleanings and optional prayer portions pulled from the great rabbis and thinkers, not to mention other portions of the Tanakh. The goal of the book is to appeal to anyone and everyone. Says the Times:

The changes reveal a movement that is growing in different directions simultaneously, absorbing non-Jewish spouses and Jews with little formal religious education while also trying to appeal to Jews seeking a return to tradition.

The siddur took more than 20 years to complete ... talk about an undertaking. The last siddur was published in 1975, and I guess I understand why just about every synagogue I've gone to outside of my home shul in Lincoln, Neb., has created their own version of the prayerbook in an effort to be more universal. I'll admit that nothing in the old Gates of Prayer offended me. In fact, there's a portion in there that inspires and moves me every day. But the new siddur has removed references to God as a “He”, and whenever Jewish patriarchs are named — like Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, so are the matriarchs — like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.

I'm quite excited about the new book. I think — if anything — perhaps it will bring more people into the shul, seeing as it has a bounty of new stuff to read (the book is pretty thick, from what I've heard), so when you get tired of the rabbi's sermon you can just read on some wisdom from the sages or Elie Wiesel. It's variety, and that's what we thrive on these days it seems — something for everyone, gall darn't.

I suppose I should check in with my synagogue to see if we're taking on the new siddur or if we're sticking with our homemade versions. Here's to hoping this text can pump some fire into the hearts of my fellow Reform Jews!