One Month in Israel: Aliyah Without Aliyah

I thought I'd feel something ... something more. More deep, more powerful, more. Just more. 

When I made aliyah in 2012, I felt it all. I felt the air differently, the mornings differently. Every experience was like I was growing into a new and more meaningful life. I saw everything through new eyes, and those eyes felt and experienced things differently. Everything was shiny and new. 

I was a new Chaviva. A better Chaviva. A Chaviva more deeply in touch with her spirit, soul, and emotions. 

Moving back, I've realized I'm not that Chaviva anymore. I'm eight years, three kids, and so many life experiences (both challenging and rewarding) later. 

And I'm struggling with not feeling that ... feeling everything "more."

When we landed, Tuvia was on an energetic high. Every sight and sound was big and special and like coming home to him. I was in awe of him. I envied him. At the same time, I didn't understand why he was able to feel that way when I just felt like everything was dulled. The sights, the sounds appeared as if the shine and shimmer had been buffed clean off. 

Over the several weeks we've been here I've been waiting for that more, that shimmer to return. To look around and marvel. I've had a few moments when I step out on the balcony at sunset and the view sucks me into a world of quiet and light. But it's fleeting. It's so fleeting I don't even know how to describe the speed to you. It's shorter than the blink of an eye. 

You know when you live someplace a long time and it becomes comfortable? There's two types of comfortable you can feel: the type where it's easy and relaxing and always like coming home or the type where it's too familiar and thus uncomfortable. Somehow, that's how Israel feels to me right now. 

I know I should say I'm lucky to be here, and I am. I feel lucky and blessed and so happy to finally be home. But I want it to feel like it used to. I want to feel something about it. Anything really. It feels too familiar, too normal, too run-of-the-mill, too dull. 

I have a feeling it's because I'm working, and the kids are home, and it just feels like summer back in Denver in many ways. But I'm holding out for the moment, the feeling, the shimmer. I know it'll come back to me. 

I need to start learning again and find an outlet that is more than kids and work and marriage. Kids and work and marriage have been all I've had for so long now. I have nothing that's mine or for me. I have to find that something, and I have to find it soon. 

Anyone out there know the feeling that I'm feeling? Drop a line in the comments, please.

Book Review: A Financial Guide to Aliyah and Life in Israel

When I decided to make aliyah (move to Israel) mid-summer 2012, I was happily, dually employed, able to pay my bills and put a bit away at the same time. Life was good. Financially I wasn't perfect, but I was getting there. When the aliyah approval came through, I didn't think I needed to sit down and figure out how much I needed monthly to survive in Israel. If I was getting by in Denver, I could get by in Jerusalem, right?

I tend to read books in moments of "hindsight is 20/20," and that's how things feel after reading Baruch Labinsky's A Financial Guide to Aliyah and Life in Israel. Oh where was this book before I made aliyah? Although, the truth is, you can take a horse to water, but you can't really teach him to drink. Without the motivation to really think about the financial reality of living in Israel, this book will never grace your coffee table, let alone help guide you.

With cheesy comics that aren't really funny, Labinsky walks the reader through how to use the book (it isn't one of those cover-to-cover reads, unless that's your style), how to understand taxes (which, let's be honest change constantly in Israel, so it's a moving target), how to plan for retirement, how to look at your assets, whether your savings will last, and so on. It's got all of the basics, complete with charts about just how expensive the basics in Israel can be.

Yes, dairy products in this country cost 44 percent more than other OECD countries. On the other hand, veggies here are happily inexpensive.

Although the book would have been a lot more helpful before I came on aliyah and lost both of my cushy jobs (oh why didn't I plan financially?), there are plenty of helpful anecdotes, like how negotiating at the bank is incredibly important. Find an advocate, Labinsky says, which is key to protekzia, or the ability to protect oneself by utilizing contacts and connections! Also, the bits on working for U.S.-based companies while living in Israel and the potential tax concerns is in my wheelhouse these days.

There's a lot of really powerful, conversational advice in the book that I know will guide plenty of potential olim on their financial journey into Israel. When you've got kids and a family or are a retiree, there's a lot to consider when making the big leap across the pond.

Also? The cover on this book is a huge win!

If you know someone considering aliyah, I highly recommend sending them this book. There are a lot more considerations when it comes to picking up and moving to Israel, even if you're willing to give up certain aspects of "comfortable" living for the fulfillment of a religious or personal ideal. If you're not a planner, take a chance with this book anyway. Believe me, you're going to need it!

Note: I received this book for review purposes, but my reviews remain honest, unbiased, and from the heart!