I'll admit I didn't get around to blogging on T'rumah last week. There are a bounty of reasons for it, including that I didn't get through it. The reason being that there's been a lot going on, and I left for Chicago on Friday (I'm still in Chicago, actually). So I'll briefly explain what's been going on, and then there'll be some bloggin' on this week's parshah, T'tzavveh.
I met with my boss last week to explain that I will no longer be working where I work as of March 16. Ian (that's the boyfriend) is flying out that day and we're driving all my goods to Chicago, where I am moving. I've been in Chicago since Friday just visiting, I needed a getaway. Also, when this trip was planned, the move to Chicago was not completely in stone. The past month has been incredibly, completely world-wind. I've taken a big leap and decided that I'm going to move to Chicago to pursue at least a piece of my world that I've been putting off for nearly three years. That's the boy, of course. I originally was going to tryout at RedEye (Chicago's free daily that's run by the Tribune Company), but after talking with my boss and finding out that there have been some "concerns" about my focus lately, I canceled the tryout. It isn't worth getting another newspaper job when it is so, 100 percent clear that I'm just not in it anymore. It was clear at that moment, when she issued her support and excitement for me that I realized I can't do newspapers anymore. I can't do the hours, the lifestyle, none of it.
So I'm moving to Chicago in nearly two weeks -- jobless. Anyone who knows me will know that this is probably the most outlandish, insane thing I could possibly do to myself, mostly because I am incredibly money conscious and paranoid about being broke. Especially after learning to NOT live from paycheck to paycheck these past six months or so. But here I am, throwing it to the wind and, with my savings in tow, I'm hoping to tough it out and find a gig working 9 to 5 or something like it. I don't really care what I'm doing, though I'll probably pursue a Jewish-oriented gig (Jewish Federation or the like) or a library position. I'm also applying for editing jobs, but only at places that are not, I repeat NOT, newspapers. I can edit, I love editing. Just not like that.
My reasons for moving are many. I already mentioned the boy, but there's also that I loathe Washington DC and that my job is obviously not working out. Additionally, I've compromised and neglected synagogue and my dedication and commitment to the Jewish community (for my personal growth, this is no type of competition) for the past eight months. I can't do it anymore. It's not something I'm willing to compromise any longer, and I thought I could for a little while, but there's a part of me that has suffered, and I now need to regain that part of me that used to sing when I stepped into synagogue.
Ian and I went to a shul here north of the city on Friday. I really liked the rabbi, but not so much the service. I struggled to focus on the material and the prayers because I was too frustrated that they were using the siddur from the 70s and that the congregation seemed stuck somewhere between Reform and Conservative. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. Well, and the fact that the wall behind the bimah looked like a giant wall of matzoh (it was supposed to be a makeup of the wall in Jerusalem, I believe).
Anyhow, I'm moving to Chicago in two weeks. I'm stoked, and if anyone who happens to read this regularly lives there or near there, let me know and we'll get coffee. Otherwise, I raise my Chai to the future, in hopes that I'll find what I'm looking for in study, focus and happiness.