Monday, September 10, 2012

The Q&A of 10Q: Overcoming the Fear

Every year, for I don't know how many years, I've participated in 10Q -- a project of the amazing REBOOT that sends you questions every day for 10 days, then locks them up until next year. It asks you for predictions, reflections, and insights into the past and the future. Every year, for me, it's like a scary little box arriving in my inbox just before Rosh HaShanah. What did I say a year ago? What did I feel a year ago? Who was I one year ago? 

So the Q&A came. It arrived today, and knowing where I was a year ago it scared me. I had anticipated writing about the 10Q, my answers, and my responses to those thoughts and feelings today. It'll be a mini-series of sorts. Today? I want to start with the question from Day 4 from 2011. 
Day 4: Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?
Your Answer: The killings in Israel of innocents. It has made my drive to move to Israel more pressing. I want to be with and defend my people and my state.
Well, that's interesting. Then came the extra question, from Day 11 in 2011. 
Day 11: What are your predictions for 2012? 
Your Answer: Predictions? Complete world destruction. Mashiach will come. I'll be in Jerusalem. Things will be amazing! Bli neder.
Okay, even more interesting. I'm guessing I wrote down my predictions out of order. I'm guessing it should have been: "I'll be in Jerusalem. Things will be amazing. Completely world destruction. Mashiach will come." Okay, that sounds better. 

From the looks of it, I think maybe I had an inkling that I'd be on the road to Jerusalem this time last year. Clearly I wasn't ready (and from my answers to some of the other questions, I clearly had a lot of soul-searching to do before I was able to make this giant leap), but it seems that my answers had a bit of truth in them. 

I was scared to read the Q&A when it arrived in my inbox, but now I'm feeling uplifted, satisfied, satiated. Like maybe the guiding light has been there all along, it just took a couple of huge falls before I could lift myself up and commit to aliyah

I will say, however, that I'm kind of hoping that the Complete World Destruction thing holds off for a little while. Just maybe. 

Did you participate in 10Q? Will you participate this year? The questions start coming in five days. Be prepared!