Tuesday, March 2, 2010

You Have Entered the Stress Bubble!

I'm fairly close to 1,000 posts (which I'll probably try to hit precisely around my four-year blogiversary in April), I've got about 70 followers through the Blogger follow function, and I receive about 150 visits per day and 200 page views per day. I'm not tooting my own horn, I'm just laying out the statistics here on Just Call Me Chaviva. What does this mean? This means I spend a lot of time blogging, people actually dig what I write, and it provides proof that this blog is sincerely an important part of my everyday life. I often tell people that this blog is my therapy, and it really is. For some people, running or knitting or crocheting help to get the body focused and balanced. Well, for me it's writing. I'm lucky that I have an audience to which I write. So let's talk.

I just finished editing those 80-ish undergraduate exams last night, this morning I finished up the last few bits of editing for a freelance editing project that's been in my lap since around August last year, and now I'm able to really focus on my schoolwork 24/7. I realized that yesterday I was up from about 9 a.m. until 2 a.m., and every waking minute was spent doing SOMETHING. I didn't stop and rest for a single moment. Here's what my day looked like:

  • 9 a.m. Woke up, showered, ate, packed up, headed out
  • 11 a.m. Hebrew class
  • 12 p.m. Spent an hour reading for class, while waiting for class to start
  • 1 p.m. Palestine Under Greeks and Romans course
  • 2 p.m. Worked for an hour and a half, inventorying old books donated by a recently passed rabbi
  • 4:30 p.m. Went back to my dorm, spent about 30-45 minutes working (HARDCORE) to Biggest Loser Bootcamp DVD
  • 5:15 p.m. Walked over to grad mailboxes to cool down, checked mail, bought some milk and tea
  • 5:45 p.m. Spent the next 6+ hours grading exams (I did break for dinner for about 10 minutes ...)
  • 1 a.m. Figured out what I needed to do for Tuesday, packed my bag, cleaned up a bit
  • 2 a.m. Went to sleep

So, you know, I'm in constant go-go-go motion. How on EARTH do I have time to blog? I have no idea. I just do it. It's necessary. It's like breathing or eating. Sometimes I have to stop and just do it. It destresses me. So here I am, blogging, about nothing in particular, because once again I'm stressed. Sure, I got exams graded and the editing finished, but now I've got something new that's eating at me: Admissions Responses for my Graduate Applications to NYU and University of Maryland!

At least I know that I won't hear from the Wexner Foundation about my possible Fellowship until the end of March, but knowing when I'll get a "REJECTED" or "ACCEPTED" from these two schools is a little bit out in the ether. I know that NYU is meeting this week to discuss, so that's a little ray of hope. But now I'm thinking,  by this time next week, I could be depressed as all get out. I've wanted to go to NYU since I was in high school. I remember getting the NYU catalog in the mail, sifting through it, dreaming of my life in NYC, living in coffee shops and schlepping dirty city streets. It's always been my dream to live there, before I was Jewish, before I had even visited -- I was going to be a city girl. So even getting the chance to go there, well, that'd be awesome. It'd be a full-circle, life-fulfilled kind of thing. And the program is perfect for what I want to do! Jewish education and Judaic studies. They might as well call it the "Chaviva Edwards Program for Awesomeness in Rocking the Jewish World."

Anyhow, I just want to thank everyone for listening to me kvetch and lament, as well as for listening to me go on about simchas and happy moments in my life. You guys are my family, and I love you for that. The continued support means more than you can possibly understand!

Stay tuned for a future blog post (hopefully) on how becoming more observant has made me more judgmental.