Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Day Two: Hello, Problems

It's a new month, and if you recall from this post, I promised to focus on a different thing every day that will help me refocus on myself. So I give you ...
Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
UGH. Seriously? Day Two and I have to take all of my problems head on. My problems, as you well know, are vast and ridiculous and I'm really good at shoving my problems into tiny little holes and forgetting about them. Despite being one who often preaches that the only thing we can control is how we react to problems, I rarely practice what I preach.

Wait, I take that back.

When it comes to life's small problems, this is precisely what I do. When it comes to divorce, family excision, financial problems, and the like, I react poorly. Despair has become second nature for me. It's the easiest way to react to any situation. Pain and hurt and hate are always easier than healing and learning to love again.

I'm working hard right now not to push the pain of the past year and a half of my life. It's what I know, it's what easy, but it's also stopped working. For years, it worked. And then something broke and it stopped working. So acknowledging what I have done is all that I can do now. Baby steps!

I'm just eager to make those steps turn into miles. Because once there are miles, I'll be ready for all that life has to offer.

Also, I have to add an anecdote I recently read about worries. There's a classic Yiddish blessing that says:
May you have many worries.
At first glance, it seems like a horrible blessing. Why would you tell someone to have many worries!? It's counterintuitive. However, when you think about it, many worries are better than one gigantic worry.

I'll take that. I just have to let those many problems and worries stop defining me.