For some reason, my brain happens to work in insane creativity and pensiveness overdrive on Shabbos -- probably because I know I can't write anything down. So here are some things that crossed my mind over the past 25 hours.
- I can't seem to figure out which lights to leave on and which to turn off for Shabbos. You'd think, after nearly a year of living in this apartment and being Shomer Shabbos that I'd have it down. Alas, I always miss one. When I was married, it was my ex's job to keep tabs on the "what to do before Shabbos starts" list. The benefit of this was that if he missed something, it wasn't my fault. (hashtag "perks of being married.")
- Why do I snack so much on Shabbos? What is it about these 25 hours that make me want to do nothing but sleep and eat? I used to do a lot more reading and learning, but these days it's eat a bunch, sleep until 3 p.m. on Shabbos afternoon, get up, go to shul, nosh, pray, sleep.
- I've realized I have very inconsistent habits when it comes to when I sit down for the brachot during Torah reading aliyot and when I stand. Sometimes I find myself standing for all of mincha, sometimes for all of maariv. I don't know that there's a hard-and-fast rule about whether you stand or sit, whether you do a full lean-over for the bracha or if your tush coming off the seat in a little nod is enough. Maybe I should ask my rav. It's interesting the mish-mosh of sitting and leaning versus standing and fully leaning that goes on. Consistency is key in so many of the things that we do.
- Guitars are weird in shul. I don't know why. I love to sing, I love to dance. But. I don't know.
- Feeling a little weighed down from my overcooked Moroccan cholent and spending last night noshing some coconut ice cream and chips (not to mention staring down the yellow-based food options at seudat shlishit for which I did not consume) ... I've realized I've let myself go a little. I need to walk the walk if I'm talking the talk. Yes, I am a gluten-free, egg-eating vegan, but that doesn't mean that junkfood abounds for someone in my shoes. So I'm going to call this the Aliyah Diet. Step one? Throw away everything I own foodwise (and donate the stuff that isn't open). I'm going to stick to a strict shopping list that will serve the three meals a day I consume -- no more, no less. By and large, what I eat is going to be focused on my two favorite change-the-way-you-eat-and-feel books Crazy Sexy Diet and The Eat-Clean Diet ... both say "diet" but mostly are focused on eating vegan, living foods.
- Moving to Israel doesn't scare me. At all. Is that rational?