No one wants me. I am the convert.

Everyone remembers my Birthright drama, yes? Well, I've been rejected -- again. This time by a program called Jewel, also run by Aish, that was right up my alley. It was four weeks studying with other Jewish woman in Israel over my winter break from school. There were scholarships and everything and it screamed "Chavi!"

But they said they don't think their program would "fit" my needs. Right. I'm sure that's precisely what they mean. They did, however, suggest that I check out a couple other programs! Yes, they said, they think those programs would be outstanding for me. What are they?

Essentially they're two different bootcamps (one Lubavitch) for women converting to Torah-true Judaism in Israel.

I'd like to issue a big, heaping spoonful of "sigh" right now. It looks like I won't be getting to Israel this year. Or any time in the foreseeable future. Unless I somehow come up with the cash on my own. I so wanted to go and study with others and explore. This is just one big mess.