Every night, I say the shema before going to bed.
And every night, I silently pray that my path, my strength to go in one direction over another, will be granted to me in my dreams by the hand or voice of G-d.
I have had recurring dreams of Hasidism, men in black hats and coats with white shirts speaking to me and teaching me, recently Hasidic people I know have appeared -- wisping by me while I stand, perplexed.
And then last night I awoke in horror in the middle of the night, checking my right leg, on the lower part, the entire space below my knee, wrapping around my leg, for the tattoo. The tattoo that appeared in my dream was huge, in an obscure shape of blacks and reds and it was hideous, but I got it anyway in the dream, not even thinking about it. And so when I woke up, I checked my leg, because the dream had been so vivid, and I was frustrated, but relieved nothing was there. And I went back to sleep, hoping for something.
People keep telling me that in our dreams we're spoken to. And I blogged about my claimed Psalm 16 before.
So every night, I silently pray that these things revealed to me in obscurity in my slumber will somehow be clear. I want to know what they mean, and every morning I wake up without feeling clarity I grow more and more weary.