Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I'm a beautiful flower, damnit.

A) When I'm having an intelligent discussion, don't dare toss in something about my faith and religion and beliefs and lifestyle because it's a "thing to do" or it seems like a "quirky way" to win the fight. It kills a discussion becuase I have to defend myself, when I shouldn't have to. In fact, I'm going to stop defending myself because anyone who thinks this is just a "phase" or thinks that I'm young and will "grow out of it" or that this isn't who I "used to be" ... isn't worth my time. OK?
B) I'm not morbidly obese. Don't ever tell me that I am.

I don't feel like I should spend my entire life defending who I am. I know that because I'm "different" it means I'll be "resident expert" on the topic. It's a reason I sort of hope to make aliyah. I don't want to have to explain myself anymore. Not only to nonJews, but to Jews as well. The rabbi and I never got to talk about these things. I read the books, I read online. My confidence is solid, but sometimes ... sometimes I lose myself when people tell me it's a "hobby" or that it's "just a phase."

FERSHTAY? -- In Yiddish, "do you understand?"
Hineni! -- In Hebrew. Moses said, "Here I am."

I made two videos today. Silent videos set to musical backdrops (including Rilo Kiley's "The Frug" and the theme to Triplets of Belleville) that includes a wacky homeless man dancing to some big band music. They can be found on my YouTube account. I also found my new haunt (which is mentioned in the video, though I just realized I neglected to include the photo in the video ... bollocks!). It's a cool joint open super late and is right on the D2, which goes all day from Dupont to Glover Park (where I reside). I only wish I had found it sooner. I realized while sitting and reading, people around me were sitting at tables covered in papers and books and I remembered what I want: Education. I want to be busy and full with work and school again. Indefinitely, preferably. I just need to get there.

(Oh, and that flower photo was taken by me, two days ago on Tunlaw Road.)